Life's Regrets

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Vince, Aug 21, 2019.

  1. andrews

    andrews Super Gardener

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    I must be a minority. Cant say that I have any real regrets. I don't want to be taking my last breath thinking 'what if ?' and have that in mind when making decisions.

    We had a plan to move to Greece and run a snack bar but discovered that it is easy to take money in but not to take it out so we canned the idea. Don't regret that one bit.

    We spend a lot of time in the garden and working on the house but enjoy the space and peace that this gives us. Some people think we are mad !

    Childhood crushes... had them and moved on. If they were meant to be, we would be together now.

    These lines from 'the bright field' sum up my approach ...

    "Life is not hurrying on to a receding future, nor hankering after an imagined past."
     
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    • Upsydaisy

      Upsydaisy Total Gardener

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      Similar to what I said in my first post @andrews ..life is too short for regrets.:dbgrtmb:
       
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      • Logan

        Logan Total Gardener

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        I don't regret what i have done. :smile:
         
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        • Perki

          Perki Total Gardener

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          I regret mostly the last 9-10 years just seems mostly a unproductive waste of time :noidea:, a year seem to come and go now not like when you were younger it seemed a eternity.
           
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            Last edited: Sep 8, 2019
          • shiney

            shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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            I suppose the only regret is that I no longer have the physical ability I once had but I have adjusted to that. :dbgrtmb: At one time I used to climb mountains but now I admire them from the valleys. Different viewpoint but just as fascinating. Also, when out walking I need more pauses but now have time to talk to the trees, animals and birds.

            As William Henry Davies said

            What is this life if, full of care,
            We have no time to stand and stare.
            No time to stand beneath the boughs
            And stare as long as sheep or cows.
            No time to see, when woods we pass,
            Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
            No time to see, in broad daylight,
            Streams full of stars, like skies at night.
            No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
            And watch her feet, how they can dance.
            No time to wait till her mouth can
            Enrich that smile her eyes began.
            A poor life this if, full of care,
            We have no time to stand and stare.

            Although I have now been retired 20 years I make sure that every day is full. Apart from trying to cope with the large garden (now need help for the heavy things) most spare daytime is full of doing things (but I still take some time staring - as above), helping others, running organisations and charities etc. and most evenings I'm out at clubs. Mrs Shiney is as busy as me. No time to watch any TV series so no money spent on TV packages, no mobile phones to pay for (if people want to contact me they have to phone me at home as when I'm out I don't want to be disturbed - what an old fashioned idea? :heehee:). The money saved helps to go towards holidays :yahoo:.
             
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            • Victoria

              Victoria Lover of Exotic Flora

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              No regrets whatsoever. Life has had its ups and downs but we cope with what life gives ... and if it is lemons, then we make lemonade.
               
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              • Retired

                Retired Some people are so poor all they have is money

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                Hi,

                Well said shiney. :dbgrtmb:

                I can't understand the modern obsession with mobile phones wondering why it is so important to have a mobile phone welded to ones ear. I bought my mobile over 8 years ago to use once per month to let Bron know I'm on my way home from Rufforth Auto Jumble taking less than a minute each time; the phone cost £5 through eBay and it broke my heart to put £10 credit on it; the phone is pay as you go and eventually I needed to top up the credit; online I paid £10 to Vodafone only to have the money returned I should have paid it to O2 I detest having to be contacted by text as so many companies these days want to do; I don't know how to send or receive text and I don't even know how to accept an incoming call and I couldn't care less because I dislike the things.

                Paying money on TV packages I'm dead against; we already get ripped off by having to pay the BBC who blackmail us considering we pay for so much rubbish; we prefer YouTube where we can select feel good movies and music videos without all the swearing and nastiness which is now accepted as normal but not by us. We have a Virgin Media package but only because of our mostly unused landline phone and Internet; we've been on cable for over 30 years. I think Virgin have finally realized sending us so many special offers regarding mobile phones to be a waste of their time; watching paint dry in my workshop is more entertaining than watching normal TV; BBC news in particular should be correctly named BBC Sport.

                I'm now 72 but still very active so keep on top of our big rear garden and the high maintenance of our bungalow. Why do people feel they HAVE to go away on holiday every year; are they so unhappy at home; Bron and I have had one weeks holiday away from home self catering in a cottage this was in 1977 on our first wedding anniversary; the holiday was just a lot of hassle so we've spent holidays away from work improving our home and lifestyle watching neighbours go away on holiday with long faces only to return home with longer faces; keeping up with the Joneses being able to brag about holiday let them get on with it; because of the way we've lived I was able to retire in 2000 aged 53; some of our bragging neighbours were still working at the age of 70 so who is the better off; we've got a gorgeous detached bungalow with lovely gardens and a panoramic view along and across the valley; we can easily afford to have a brand new car every two or three years and we both indulge in our respective hobbies; we go and come as we please during the week it being an holiday for us every day; we lived for years with a huge mortgage not having a spare pound in the house whilst others were on holiday courtesy of their plastic card.

                Few wives/partners would have put up with what Bron endured for so many early years of our marriage but now we have an enviable but very simple lifestyle; we don't socialize as such only having very few what can be classed as genuine friends. We don't smoke; drink alcohol or do drugs we do stick together and love each other which to us is what marriage is about.

                We know lots of couples who appear happy in public but are deeply unhappy behind closed doors which is such a shame,

                I feel some workshop time coming on. :biggrin:

                Kind regards, Colin.
                 
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                • lolimac

                  lolimac Total Gardener

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                  Never a truer word spoken @alana
                   
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                  • shiney

                    shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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                    Although I agree with a lot of what you say, and completely accept your viewpoint on holidays, we don't feel we have to go on holiday each - but wish to do so.

                    We go to see the wildlife, countryside, traditions, history, art and customs of countries that are so varied from ours. We go to out of the way places and mix with the locals more than with the tourist places. Last year was typical of the type of holiday we have (we don't actually call it 'holiday', but 'travel'). We toured 2,500 miles of Rajastan, mixed and ate with the locals, and went from towns and countryside to meeting locals in the desert and travelling there by camel. As much as possible we try to communicate in their language and have many laughs over it. We need a holiday when we get back. :heehee:

                    We have made friends all over the world and have met some of them a number of times. :)

                    We'll continue doing so whilst we're still able and I hope we will have no regrets when we're no longer able to do so.
                     
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                    • andrews

                      andrews Super Gardener

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                      Ohhh holidays.

                      Some years ago we would go on holiday every three months as my wife disliked her job so much. Wheres the sense in that ? Get paid well and have to spend it because of the hated job that pays to enable the holidays. We saw some amazing places during that time but decided to stop the nonsense.
                      We both now work for our own business and, whilst we don't have as much spare cash, we are much happier.
                      We go to our apartment in Bulgaria twice a year when our major customers are quiet. It gives us time to relax and forces us to stop working on the house and garden. I know for sure that we wouldn't have the downtime if we didn't go away.
                       
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                      • Logan

                        Logan Total Gardener

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                        Some people like to have a holiday just for a change of scenery.
                         
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                        • Retired

                          Retired Some people are so poor all they have is money

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                          Hi,

                          Bron and I like our life at home being able to come and go as we please; if we fancy a day out 50 miles away we have Derbyshire and 100 miles away we have The Lake District plus of course our wonderful Yorkshire inbetween; if we want a different culture we only have to drive 10 miles over to Dewsbury or Batley and it's like being abroad; I visit Rufforth Auto jumble in York once a month weather permitting and am always amazed by the languages I hear.

                          There's so much that is gorgeous in our own country from scenery to some of the best stately homes in the world;

                          Castle Howard - One of Britain's finest stately homes & gardens - A place like no other

                          Chatsworth House

                          It's a lovely ride out to Chatsworth garden centre with a wander around Bakewell and easily back home in a day; Hayes Garden Centre in Ambleside is a nice day out and on one such trip we sat with more adults than children in The Beatrix Potter cinema. Just so much pleasure all virtually on our doorstep and being retired means we go mid week in peace.

                          Fair enough those who pay and wish to go abroad on holiday it's just that we're all different; if I were to go on a ship cruising I think I'd jump overboard through absolute boredom missing home and my workshop.



                          Our friend Tony has just sent us the picture tutorial he's added on to YouTube seen above painted from a picture he and his wife took a few years ago; is there anywhere prettier and what a top class video?

                          Kind regards, Colin.
                           
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                          • shiney

                            shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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                            The Lake District is one of our favourite places in the UK and I wrote a small walking guide to the area - as well as writing tour guides to Hawaii and Colorado.

                            Ashness bridge used to be nicknamed the biscuit tin bridge as, in the days when tins of biscuits were very popular, it was the most common picture printed on the tins. It's a lovely spot to walk to and Surprise View, a few minutes walk away, is still a surprise even though they've now cleared some of the trees and shrubs to make it easier for tourists.
                             
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                            • Upsydaisy

                              Upsydaisy Total Gardener

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                              I have found it difficult to respond to some posts of those who sadly have regrets. I just can't find the words that do justice to their posts that they have kindly shared with us.
                              So to you all I send...[​IMG]
                               
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                              • CanadianLori

                                CanadianLori Total Gardener

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                                I haven't had any regrets that have followed me very far through my years. No matter the perceived magnitude at the time, I managed to shrug them off.

                                Reminds me of that song about regrets and indeed, "I did it my way" :)
                                 
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