Mental Health issues can be overwhelming

Discussion in 'Gardening For People With Disabilities' started by ThePlantAssassin, Jul 10, 2019.

  1. Mike Allen

    Mike Allen Total Gardener

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    GOOD MAN.
     
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    • Upsydaisy

      Upsydaisy Total Gardener

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      :hapydancsmil::hapydancsmil::yahoo::yahoo: So very pleased to hear your good news @Mike Allen , that's made my day!!!!!:yes:
       
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      • DianneW

        DianneW Head Gardener

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        That's great news @Mike Allen Always good to hear some great news and lifting your spirits..whiskey, that's generous, guessing that is a bottlesworth:rolleyespink:
         
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        • shiney

          shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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          • Finngal

            Finngal Gardener

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            For working full time in the field of mental health (psychologist and psychoanalyst) I honestly have zero interest in reading the psycho rants and raves of people in my preferred gardening forum. That said, I take full responsibility of myself, and just skip the messages that do not interest me.

            What I say is not directed to anyone in particular, but I am expressing myself as if it about you. Please take this into account, I too am expressing myself.

            Just because I don't want to read it doesn't mean others could not,or that indeed the writer should not, express themselves.
            (Forum rules aside, moderators see to that when necessary).

            What I would call out here is our own responsibility to choose what we read in our free time. If you don't like something, move on, nothing to see here.
            If you feel insulted by someone's comments, why pick up a fight? State you felt hurt if you want, and move on. Returning to the place of pain by reading and rereading and continuing the conflict won't make it better. Why would you need to get others to understand you when you feel insulted? We are not responsible to teaching others how to think.

            If you don't want to belong to a forum because of what somebody said, by all means leave. But don't put the blame of your feelings and actions on others -you choose to leave and feel that way. Nobody makes us feel anything. We feel things and think of them by our own choice. Recognise the power you give to others (to make you feel x) and take it back. Not all insults are insults. Sometimes we take a compliment as an insult. Sometimes an insult is perceived as a compliment. The receiver of message also has certain responsibility to themselves.
             
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            • Nikolaos

              Nikolaos Total Gardener

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              Excellent and eloquent post, @Finngal! Not much I can add to your comments with the exception of this one...

              The receiver is primarily responsible, IMHO that's the only way of shifting from a place of victimhood to one of empowerment. But the tricky thing is that with anxiety disorders, it's incredibly difficult and painful to understand that you're actually misperceiving reality itself. Once you are brave enough to accept that and stop feeling guilty (our guilt is often just another excuse to not move forward, much easier to wallow in it than embrace an entire lifestyle change!) you can progress very rapidly. :)

              Nick
               
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              • noisette47

                noisette47 Total Gardener

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                I couldn't agree more, Finngal. But when the proportion of gardening-related threads is naturally lower in the winter, and then even those are peppered with inane and irrelevant content, the attitude of 'If you don't like it, don't read it' has just one outcome. Fortunately, those of us who participated in GC because it's a gardening forum, but don't need or want to discuss the minutae of our lives via the internet, can continue to communicate by other means. So all's well that ends well. That's good :)
                 
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                • ARMANDII

                  ARMANDII Low Flying Administrator Staff Member

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                  @Finngal
                  Well. Finngal, obviously you do, otherwise why would you read the thread and then post an opinion:scratch::doh:

                  Well, unintentionally, my work carries me into cases where that is a doubtful assertion:dunno:. I have seen numerous cases where a person's mental state was due to the pressures of other people personal agenda and motivations, so not everything is down to the individuals frailties.:nonofinger:

                  Well, again, obviously, in this case, you didn't.:dunno::wallbanging: If the advice is, before you post, to think whether it might be offensive, then think again, and think again, and don't post.

                  Yes, Gardeners Corner's main thrust is gardening, and that's how it should be. But the different subjects of the Forums and those Threads therein are not something that Admin constructed but they are there because of the GG Gangs needs and requirements to discuss other subjects including mental health. GC Admin believe in, and will protect members right to, discuss matters that are non gardening so long as those comments are not deliberately offensive.
                  I do find it puzzling when an individual declares and recognises the premise of, if you are not interested in a Thread's subject then don't bother to read it or comment in it,.......and yet they do.:wallbanging:
                  If I, personally, am not interested in a Thread subject, Gardening or other, then I don't read it, it's that simple. But's it's apparent that some members declare their disinterest and even distaste for certain matters but yet ignore their own disinterest and distaste and read the posts in those Threads and then, despite their declared disinterest and distaste will criticise the posts and question the need for such Threads.......
                  [​IMG]
                   
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                  • Nikolaos

                    Nikolaos Total Gardener

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                    @noisette47 Sorry, but I'm just a little confused by some of your comments. You seem to be expecting the forum to be of the dry, academic variety but it's a friendly gardening forum, with the moderators repeatedly emphasising the friendliness and fellowship aspect. Was it a more scholarly forum which has recently degenerated? I have no idea, haven't been here long enough to know really, but it's not the impression I get! :dunno: You complain of off-topic threads but you yourself appear to be one of the most prolific contributors to these threads sometimes (Brexit?). "Do as I say, not as I do?" If you want to see more gardening-related threads, what's stopping you from initiating them? That's what I tend to do when things get too off-topic for my liking! :noidea:

                    I'm genuinely not trying to be adversarial or a dick here, but you seem to be complaining about a forum that is already perfectly well-compartmentalised! If anything, I enjoy reading your highly informative and often very witty posts and am concerned about so many knowledgeable members wishing to voluntarily exclude themselves recently. :sad: You are (as far as I know) an autodidact and they can often have the best insights into a subject! It's what differentiates fora like this one from purely academic online venues and makes them even more valuable!

                    The "Welcome" page already sort of filters out any 'impertinent' posts, so I simply use that instead of the "Latest Posts" list most of the time. :scratch:

                    Plus, who agreed with Noisette and Lori's posts and why is the former lady the only person left elaborating here? :dunno: You won't be publicly shot for airing your views, you know! :heehee:

                    Regarding this thread, I was going to post what helped me deal with my own mental health issues as things have significantly improved recently, but I'm feeling a little trepidatious about it now... wouldn't want to add to the off-topic posts! :biggrin: (OK, this sentence is me being a bit of a dick! :roflol:)

                    I'm really sorry about that and need to be more restrained! :roflol:

                    Only one (IMO rather large) problem with that: you end up with a form of tyranny caused by an emotionally fragile minority, since some are virtually unoffendable (which I aspire to be eventually) and some are offended at the drop of a hat! :dunno:

                    Nick
                     
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                      Last edited: Feb 16, 2021
                    • pete

                      pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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                      I'm not getting involved in this one, too risky.

                      But I would like to say,

                      I think we are seeing a touch of the winter, lockdown blues.:sad:
                      We have been here before, over the years.:old:

                      Well not the lockdown bit.:frown:

                      And an improvement in the weather, and sunny days ahead will make all the difference.

                      So if the thread was to go back on topic and not be a thread analyzing why the thread exists:rolleyespink:
                      Things might calm down a bit.
                      In other words, I can see both sides of the debate,(nearly called it an argument but that would have got me in trouble), so anyway I forgot what I was going to say.

                      But as you can see, I'm keeping out of it.
                      Pour me a large one Hic Hic.
                       
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                      • DianneW

                        DianneW Head Gardener

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                        How common are mental health problems?

                        Just adding stats to remind us all that some mental health issues are very common but the more serious illness's are at least much much lower on the stats charts. My late mate Rosi worked with somebody whose wife had bio polar. She would go weeks sometimes acting very erratic, no sleep hardly at all. shopping around the clock and happy as a lamb..then the reverse would occur..could not know how to make a cup of tea even...So Rosi, such a real caring person, worked part time for the company and part time for his wife's needs...Kindest sole she was. Take good care of yourselves, you never will know what life can throw at you....
                         
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                        • ARMANDII

                          ARMANDII Low Flying Administrator Staff Member

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                          A word of caution for us all. This Thread has a specific title and purpose and I don't think it will serve it's purpose by a prolonged debate about expressed opinions.
                          @Finngal.

                          One thing that has been troubling me is your comments

                          I have yet to meet such professionals who would even think of using such words as "pyscho rants and raves" and, in fact, known Professionals to take great offence by anyone using those words in their presence.:scratch:
                           
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                          • ARMANDII

                            ARMANDII Low Flying Administrator Staff Member

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                            :hate-shocked::runforhills::runforhills::runforhills::runforhills::runforhills:
                             
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                            • Finngal

                              Finngal Gardener

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                              Uuuu you are a big boy aren't you :yahoo:

                              And as we try to make sure absolutely nobody in any mental state could possibly interpret anything we innocently say in any way negatively, we close ourselves more and more into tiny spaces in which we always can find one more thing that could hurt someone's feelings, and if we do, we can attack then because surely it must be bad. And the illusion of control is perfect, until o e day in the thought totalitarian world questions what about the feelings of those we ended up shunning, those who no longer could talk, in fear of some Karen somewhere getting the hump.
                              And thats when the house of card fails.

                              Personal responsibility. If you are an idiot nothing stops you from being one. But those of us who have ethics, already regulate what we let out.
                               
                            • Finngal

                              Finngal Gardener

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                              Hahahaha

                              Well, although via forum, "How do you do?"
                               
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