Do you love it? Do you loathe it? Do you care?

Discussion in 'General Gardening Discussion' started by LawnAndOrder, Aug 2, 2022.

  1. LawnAndOrder

    LawnAndOrder Gardener

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    Mme Lab always wants to shave me with a cutthroat razor, but I am not sure how long I would survive that.
     
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    • LawnAndOrder

      LawnAndOrder Gardener

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      Aaaaaah! Do you remember my late neighbour? His propensity for buying from mail order catalogues? Well, that was one of his purchases and a Christmas present from him some twenty odd years ago. At the time, I thought What on earth am I going to do with all those? He’d said With these you can take your entire motorbike to pieces and put it back together again.

      I cannot tell you how often since I have reached for those and how incredibly useful they have been … but having just taken the Felco apart and with the prospect of having to try to put it together again, I don’t think I am going to try anything with the bike!
       
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      • LawnAndOrder

        LawnAndOrder Gardener

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        There is an easier way: get tomatoes already sliced, you’ll find them in the “See the difference” section.
         
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        • noisette47

          noisette47 Total Gardener

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          Wouldn't that depend on your insurance situation? :biggrin:
           
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          • noisette47

            noisette47 Total Gardener

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            Referring back to my heated but friendly discussions with Armandii, God rest his lovely soul, Astroturf was the only solution for disguising the banks of our first pond here, built on an uncompromising slope. The frogs love it :biggrin:
             
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            • noisette47

              noisette47 Total Gardener

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              On the bright side, it shows up the weeds a treat! I'm hand-weeding 4,000m2 at the moment, in between watering, of course :biggrin:
               
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              • Upsydaisy

                Upsydaisy Total Gardener

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                I'm leaving the weeds in as it's nice to have some greenery. :biggrin:
                 
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                • Sheal

                  Sheal Total Gardener

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                  This might help @LawnAndOrder...

                  [​IMG]

                  There are no bridges, no tunnels and no possibility of hitching a lift from Nessie. :biggrin:

                  I've survived six trips on the loch but I may just have been lucky. You'll have to do what the fair maiden did. ;)

                  That's a tender age to discover the effects of aqua vitae.
                   
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                  • shiney

                    shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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                    Don't worry, I'm happy to teach her. :blue thumb: Or, maybe, you should worry. :th scifD36:
                     
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                    • shiney

                      shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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                      I think I have used a spanner once since we moved here - and we've been here 50 years. :noidea:
                       
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                      • LawnAndOrder

                        LawnAndOrder Gardener

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                        !!!HhAhH!!! Donned it!

                        You probably think the script went something like this: Started Felco_10 reassembly at 14:55 ... 16:55: everything that was in the room (except the Felco pieces) has been flung out of the window ... 18:55: the Lagavulin is empty ... 20:55: no more Ledaig ... 22:55: the Felco pieces are in the pond ... 22:56: ordered new Felco secateurs on Amazon Prime! Ten o’clock tomorrow morning: Your Amazon Order has been delivered. It was Great!

                        But the reality was quite different: 14:45: Started Felco_10 reassembly ... 14:49:
                        upload_2022-8-10_23-50-24.jpeg

                        Look at those lovely reborn blades, oily and shiny, yeah shiney!

                        I would love to be able to say that I did it by just looking at the pieces and thinking: Aaah, this is how it must go – but the truth is that Madame Lab had sent me this (*):
                        upload_2022-8-10_23-51-28.png

                        Anyway, job done, and immensely satisfying; but the best part was when Mme Lab (looking incredulously at the magically reconstituted most important part of her life) said: Well, I am impressed!

                        I hadn’t heard that since our wedding night, when, as we arrived, she saw that there was one empty space in the car park behind the hotel.

                        (*) by the way, I had not dismantled the thing to the extent you see above, far from it, I think it was in about seven or eight pieces; it has to be said, it is a fantastic piece of design!
                         
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                          Last edited: Aug 11, 2022
                        • LawnAndOrder

                          LawnAndOrder Gardener

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                          You cannot be serious! How does the Forum afford you the time?!?!?!
                           
                        • shiney

                          shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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                          If I had been presented with that diagram I would have been thrown into 'all of a tis-was' - as my mother used to say regularly in the 1940's. (way before they used the expression in the kids TV programme - which was used in a totally different context).
                           
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                          • NigelJ

                            NigelJ Total Gardener

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                            I've survived 60+ years without ever shaving with a cutthroat razor.
                             
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                            • noisette47

                              noisette47 Total Gardener

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                              Me too :biggrin:
                               
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