Answering machine!!!.

(GRANDPARENTS ANSWERING MACHINE).

" If you are one of the family,leave your message after the bleep".
" If you are one of our children,dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 ,in order of 'arrival' so we know who it is.
"If You Need Us To Stay With The Children,press 2.
"If you want to borrow the car, press 3.
"If you want us to wash your clothes and do your ironing,press 4.
"If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight ,press 5.
"If you want us to pick up the kids from school , press 6.
"If you want us to prepare a meal for sunday or have it delivered to your home,press 7.
"If you want to come to eat here, press 8.
"If you need money, press 9.

"If you are going to invite us to dinner or are taking us to the theatre !!!.

START TALKING - WE ARE LISTENING :WINK1:.

 

Like it Music!

I'd like to know what the reply is on numbers 1 - 9!

 

i love this

 

I called a wrong number once, got an answer phone, it said "if you want drugs, press hash"

 

My OH gets a wrong number and then spends 30 mins. waffling to a complete stranger.
And that is both true and repeated a number of times.

 

I'll believe that !

Some silly old bat locally obviously forgets to enter the std code and gets my number. I recognise her number on caller display and don't answer so she always waffles away into the answering machine.

 

Sorry About That Frostbite !!. I Keep Telling My Mother In Law :WINK1:.

 

I don't have caller display, so I'm afraid I used to have to answer when she called.

With Mr. F'smum away so often and 3 daughters scattered to the winds, I can't afford to ignore calls, but since she is (as they say) 'well deaf', I'd get a screeched "Is that you Jack?". I can only assume 'Jack' to be equally deaf, although what their conversations consist of is anyone's guess, so I'd find myself screeching "No. You've got the wrong number" back at her! We'd then get into this scenario whereby she'd ask who it was, I'd say it wasn't Jack, she'd ask me what Jack's number was and so on, until I'd just hang up. Trouble was, because she can't really hear, she'd keep waiting for 'Jack' to say something, didn't replace her receiver and thus blocked me from making any calls.

Eventually I rang the number and got a 'proper' human being on the end - her daughter. Poor lady, she apologised profusely about 'Mother', said she was getting her a phone with extra large keys (blind as well as deaf ) which she clearly did, since the calls subsequently stopped.

To Music's list, I'd add only one thing - "If you're trying to sell me something or talk about PPI: press Zero .... it's the self-destruct option"

 

Yeah - nice one, FM!

I once thought it would be cute to have a musical intro on my answer machine. It was in the early days before iPods and all that, so I was just sticking the machine in front of the record player to record the bit I wanted. It was a line out of "Midnight" from Cats.

The bit I used was this from Barbra Streisand's version

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
Look
A new day has begun

After which I add a request to leave a message.

Only I had this numbskull of a plumber doing some work for me once and I'd asked him to phone me back. After the message was done, I could hear him talking to his wife saying things like "It's all this music.... no I haven't got the wrong number .... I don't know, perhaps she's having a party ..... it was all this music..... well what shall I do ..... I don't know what to do .... " then, presumingly making up his mind what to do, he hung up!

I changed my answer phone message after that! :DOH:
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