Being stalked online...

I apologise if this is the wrong area to post this, I just know that you guys might be able to shed some light on the situation.

Where to start? I apologize if this post is a chunk of uncatagoriized information.

I had a lot of problems in my home country with my family which in turn led to me moving out of the city that we all lived in, getting disowned as a side result( mothers boyfriend abused me physically and mentally from ages 5-18, where I lashed back on my 18tg birthday after he hit me for drinking to celebrate. I got kicked out and disowned) They continued to harass me by finding out where I worked and called the boss to ask what I was doing and if I was still there. They even went so far as to say, and I quote "Please can you call me every week to tell me what he is up to, don't tell him that I called you please.". Naturally the boss told me and I said that I didn't want this to happen. I have since moved to several cities within the country without this stopping (I have changed address a total of 8 times and they persisted). This started in 2010, and hasn't stopped now, 5 years later. I have since moved abroad with my fiancé to get a fresh start without all of the trouble of being hounded via phone calls, texts, emails, facebook messages, letters, instagram messages etc (I honestly have no idea how they got half of this information).

The reason for this post is that I have today discovered that they have been stealing photographs that have been taken of me and posting them on their own social media and making up lies about my relations, (for example: "Close at heart but apart in distance"). I was disturbed by hearing this from a friend and confirmed it with my own eyes. I have seen them on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. They are all blocked on all of my social media, they do not have my email, phone number, address YET. This is the only way that they can/are harrass/ing me right now. it might not seem much to some people, but it is a big deal for me, it just will not cease. I have told them time and time again over the last 5 years to leave me alone, to go away. I have pleaded, I have asked nicely and got nothing. I have been aggressive and confrontational and got nothing. I'm at a loss, does anyone have any advice?

Edit: The photographs are professionally taken, if this is of any importance.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Sadly we can never change the behaviour of others all we can do is control how we respond to it.

It seems as though you realised that by physically removing yourself from the relationship when you left at 18 but the emotional ties are harder to break and because you still can't quite make that break (otherwise you wouldn't be looking at their Facebook pages) it is allowing them to still have some hold.

Although difficult for you, it seems to me that your choice is either a complete break - which means never peeking at their pages, never mentioning them to your friends etc - or controlling how much that can impact on you; knowing but having no response. I know that is more easily said than done, you say you have contacted them to ask them to stop. Perhaps write a message to say that you will be ceasing all contact and then stick to it. It may be that you could write that letter but rather than posting it to them, post it to yourself and stick it on your computer or anywhere to remind yourself of your decision. I think their actions are probably being fuelled by your response, like it or not it does seem as if they still want you in their life, the big question is do you still want them in yours?

 

@westwales I think that maybe I gave off the wrong vibe. I absolutely do not want them in my life. I only looked at their pages to check if what I has heard was true. I don't look otherwise.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

I don't have much advice I'm afraid, what a horrible situation to be in

Is it worth contacting the photographer and let him/her know that these images have been stolen and are being posted without permission? I'm sure photographers retain copyright to their photographs and they may be able to force them to take them down or be in breach of copyright. And that way it doesn't look as if it's come direct from you as well

 

I would try to ignore it but if needs be this is a good idea.
Something along the lines of "my family and I have had no contact for x years and what is portrayed here is an untruth".
Then leave it at that.

The situation that you find yourself in is bad enough, try to move on. Good luck.

 

Have you googled your own name? This is probably what they began with and I expect you would be surprised at the results. There are groups and companies that collect all kinds of data about you, including address, phone, email and place of work, and either make it public or sell it online.
Next, your social media, facebook etc, are a huge giveaway about your life. Check your privacy settings and also check what friends they may have in common with you as their feed will show on unwanted family pages. Block anyone you don't want reading your pages or messaging you. Have a clear out on your friends list of all but real friends and people you actively communicate with. Change your passwords on all social media and your emails etc.
You should also find out about your legal rights where texts, emails and letters are concerned. There are laws governing such things and your rights to privacy.
I hope this helps.

 

The Photographer in question is my Fiancé. There were no copyright stamps on these photographs, as they were taken for our pleasure. So I'm not sure if there is anything with that, I'm afraid.

I have sent messages similar to that, countless times, to no avail. They respond exactly as a 5 year old would be expected to respond. I will post a picture of the conversation for you to see why this will go nowhere.

I have also not spoken to them for nearly two years now, but this is happening in the background. I don't know why it has riled me up so much, but it has,

I have googled my own name countless times, and made active attempts to remove any matches. There isn't a thing that I can find other than a private LinkedIn account, my facebook (When searching within facebook). All other websites I use alias' like this.

My privacy settings are set as high as facebook will allow. That doesnt stop them from checking and stealing profile pictures though. We only have 1 friend in common, my best friend. He wouldn't give away any information without speaking to me first, of this I'm certain. I have blocked them all, but it is incredibly easy to create a new account on Facebook and snoop that way.

Thankyou for the replies.

As promise, a screencap of the conversation before I dropped out of it,

 

And thats why Ive never joined social media.You leave yourself open to government spying,crooks harvesting your info and people stealing your identity.
Drop the social media and your problems will be gone.

 

It' not hard to find people once you have a bit of info, look at the things you've posted on here, you have to cut all tie's, it's hard, and don't post anything that is about you

 

There doesn't need to be a stamp on the photos - your fiancé owns the copyright. I would post them on Flickr reserving all rights................


You have now made it clear that the copyright is claimed and non-negotiable. Then point it out to them and report it to twonkbook.

Having done the above move on. Easier said than done maybe but continuing is only playing into their hands.
Again, good luck.

 

I uploaded them to Flickr, set the copyrights, made a twitter account and reported each picture. I was in the process of filing a copyright complaint and was asked for a link to the post, they were gone. Im not sure whether twitter is that fast or if she took them down herself. Either way, they are gone and I am a whole lot happier.

Thankyou so much!

 

The only suggestion i have is change your name on facebook thats what i had to do obviously you are not suppose to have a fake name but I have my first name but not my real last name on there due to being harrassed by an ex's new partner for no reason. I actually deleted my whole account and started a new one and was careful about who i added. It helped solve the problem

It absolutely sucks when people do things like this and im sorry that you are having to deal with it

 

If you really want to stop this then you have to disappear from anywhere that they might be able to find you. Get off facebook and twitter, don't post any photos of yourself online. They cannot track down something which doesn't exist.!!! Good luck, I too have had family problems so I know how this can feel.

 

I'd come off Facebook. It seems to cause more trouble than it's worth. Glad I've never joined it but it does seem important to the younger generations so the choice is yours. I suppose you will have to weigh up how much it's bugging you and whether it's bugging you enough to close your account. I know you shouldn't have to do this but it's one way to get peace of mind.