A JOKE OR TWO.!!

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by music, Jan 2, 2017.

  1. music

    music Memories Are Made Of This.

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2009
    Messages:
    3,415
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    A Little Bit Of This And A Little Bit Of That.
    Location:
    Scotland
    Ratings:
    +2,785
    A Helicopter lost power while flying over a remote Scottish Island and was forced to make an emergency landing.
    Luckily there was a small cottage nearby.
    The Pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door.
    "Is There A Mechanic In The Area?", he asked the woman who answered the door.

    She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds.
    "NO", she finally said,pointing down the road,

    "But we do have a Mc ardie and a Mc Kay". :scratch::scratch::scratch:.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • kindredspirit

      kindredspirit Gardening around a big Puddle. :)

      Joined:
      Nov 21, 2009
      Messages:
      3,671
      Gender:
      Male
      Occupation:
      Retired.
      Location:
      Western Ireland (but in a cold pocket)
      Ratings:
      +4,585
    • daitheplant

      daitheplant Total Gardener

      Joined:
      Dec 19, 2006
      Messages:
      10,282
      Gender:
      Male
      Occupation:
      Retired
      Location:
      South East Wales
      Ratings:
      +2,881
      tank 2
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
      • HarryS

        HarryS Eternally Optimistic Gardener

        Joined:
        Aug 28, 2010
        Messages:
        8,906
        Gender:
        Male
        Occupation:
        Retired
        Location:
        Wigan
        Ratings:
        +16,246
        3 and 4 equally first ?
         
      • music

        music Memories Are Made Of This.

        Joined:
        Jun 14, 2009
        Messages:
        3,415
        Gender:
        Male
        Occupation:
        A Little Bit Of This And A Little Bit Of That.
        Location:
        Scotland
        Ratings:
        +2,785
        Please Be Careful.
        Last Saturday I went to a Party, I had a few beers, followed by a few Cocktails, followed by a few shots.
        I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit,that's when I decided to do what I have never done before, I took a Cab home.
        Sure enough, there was a Police road block on the way home,and since it was a Cab, they waved it past.

        I arrived home safely without incident, this was both a great relief and a surprise, because I had never driven a cab before, I don't even know where I got it from,and now it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it !!!!!!!.:scratch::scratch:.:Wino:.;);).
         
        • Funny Funny x 3
        • Like Like x 1
        • Jack McHammocklashing

          Jack McHammocklashing Sludgemariner

          Joined:
          May 29, 2011
          Messages:
          4,392
          Gender:
          Male
          Occupation:
          Ex Civil Serpent
          Location:
          Fife Scotland
          Ratings:
          +7,278
          Good one Music, I was needing cheered up
           
          • Agree Agree x 1
          • Friendly Friendly x 1
          • kindredspirit

            kindredspirit Gardening around a big Puddle. :)

            Joined:
            Nov 21, 2009
            Messages:
            3,671
            Gender:
            Male
            Occupation:
            Retired.
            Location:
            Western Ireland (but in a cold pocket)
            Ratings:
            +4,585
            Answer to Tank Question is as Daithe said, No. 2. (No access from tank 2 to 3.)
             
          • HarryS

            HarryS Eternally Optimistic Gardener

            Joined:
            Aug 28, 2010
            Messages:
            8,906
            Gender:
            Male
            Occupation:
            Retired
            Location:
            Wigan
            Ratings:
            +16,246
            aaah never saw the line over tank 3 entrance , well done Dai :blue thumb:
             
          • music

            music Memories Are Made Of This.

            Joined:
            Jun 14, 2009
            Messages:
            3,415
            Gender:
            Male
            Occupation:
            A Little Bit Of This And A Little Bit Of That.
            Location:
            Scotland
            Ratings:
            +2,785
            A Man boarded a Plane with Six Kids.
            After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the Aisle from him leaned over to him and asked," Are All Of These Kids Yours"?.

            "No Madam, I work for a condom company and these are customer complaints" !!!!.:scratch::scratch:.
             
            • Like Like x 1
            • Funny Funny x 1
            • kindredspirit

              kindredspirit Gardening around a big Puddle. :)

              Joined:
              Nov 21, 2009
              Messages:
              3,671
              Gender:
              Male
              Occupation:
              Retired.
              Location:
              Western Ireland (but in a cold pocket)
              Ratings:
              +4,585
              [​IMG]
               
              • Funny Funny x 2
              • Like Like x 1
              • kindredspirit

                kindredspirit Gardening around a big Puddle. :)

                Joined:
                Nov 21, 2009
                Messages:
                3,671
                Gender:
                Male
                Occupation:
                Retired.
                Location:
                Western Ireland (but in a cold pocket)
                Ratings:
                +4,585
              • daitheplant

                daitheplant Total Gardener

                Joined:
                Dec 19, 2006
                Messages:
                10,282
                Gender:
                Male
                Occupation:
                Retired
                Location:
                South East Wales
                Ratings:
                +2,881
                Me too.lol
                 
                • Agree Agree x 1
                • kindredspirit

                  kindredspirit Gardening around a big Puddle. :)

                  Joined:
                  Nov 21, 2009
                  Messages:
                  3,671
                  Gender:
                  Male
                  Occupation:
                  Retired.
                  Location:
                  Western Ireland (but in a cold pocket)
                  Ratings:
                  +4,585
                  [​IMG]
                   
                  • Like Like x 1
                  • music

                    music Memories Are Made Of This.

                    Joined:
                    Jun 14, 2009
                    Messages:
                    3,415
                    Gender:
                    Male
                    Occupation:
                    A Little Bit Of This And A Little Bit Of That.
                    Location:
                    Scotland
                    Ratings:
                    +2,785
                    (For Sale).

                    Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica ,40 volumes, excellent condition, £300 or best offer.


                    No longer needed,got married last month,


                    The Wife knows every bloooody thing. !!!:frown:.
                     
                    • Funny Funny x 2
                    • Like Like x 1
                    • music

                      music Memories Are Made Of This.

                      Joined:
                      Jun 14, 2009
                      Messages:
                      3,415
                      Gender:
                      Male
                      Occupation:
                      A Little Bit Of This And A Little Bit Of That.
                      Location:
                      Scotland
                      Ratings:
                      +2,785
                      Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a Computer Chip that can store and play stereo music in women's breast implants.
                      The ITit, will cost between £400 and £500, depending on 'speaker size'.

                      This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them. :whistle:.
                       
                      • Funny Funny x 4
                      Loading...

                      Share This Page

                      1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
                        By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
                        Dismiss Notice