At a complete "loose end"

Ok, so here's the story:-

We have moved to a new area to be with my fiancee and I gave up work to move here with my daughter, oh and 2 labs, 2 horses a cat and a fish....... I'm getting married in March 2012 at the grand old age of 43 so am also planning a wedding! We've been here 5 weeks now and the neighbours are awful. No-one speaks! I have lost count of the times I have said "hello", smiled, waved on the way in/out the street in the car but get no response from them. Even out walking the dogs no-one speaks when you pass them. The most conversation I had today was from the postman :fingerdrum: Whatever happened to being able to pass the time of day with people?

 

What area?? May I ask :D

 

I feel for you. It sometimes takes time for people to accept "incomers".
Luckily where we live most of the estate (circa '57) are either original occupiers, kids of or Grandkids of original occupiers and there is a good community - much like you seem to want.

We were in a small Gallaway village for a week, earlier this year, and generally everyone we met were extremely welcoming.

Hopefully the natives are just slow to accept you and things will change quickly.
Involving yourself in kiddie type activities (toddler group/school etc) can break the ice. Kids bond and the parents need to interact.

I hope it works out. Good Luck

 

I'm in Central Scotland Hydrogen having moved from the outskirts of Glasgow. I'm right between Glasgow and Edinburgh. Thanks for your support GCC3663, it's much appreciated.

 

Whitburn or Livingston ?
I feel your pain
Glenrothes is Fine for Fife

Jack McHammocklashing

 

Wicked Scotland is gorgeous! Who needs neighbours when you live there lol! Hope it works out for you in time you will be one off them

 

My money's on Livingston ! (apologies if that upsets anyone)

 

Had similar when I moved to Blaenau Ffesteringhog. Learnt a bit of Welsh & people responded eventually.

Was told I would have to learn Welsh when I started work in the Slate quarry.

 

neither Whitburn or Livingston, I'm a little further West.

I feel like I speak a different language some days Ziggy..... I'm going to the library today to see if there's any local groups that I have an interest in or volunteering options.

 

It's horrible when you move somewhere new and get the feeling you're being 'ignored'. People don't seem to 'pass the time of day' anymore. I've lived in this road of just 16 houses for 27 years and there are still some people whose names I don't know. True, at one time everyone knew everyone else, but as they died or moved away, the new people have seemed less and less inclined to talk - in fact some seem to rush from their houses to their cars and back again almost as though they're afraid someone might say 'hi'. I put it down to their shyness rather than the fact that we're unwelcoming.

All I can suggest is (if you're the 'type'), is that you pop a short note through a couple of doors, introducing yourself, pointing out you've recently moved in and perhaps inviting them to something like a 'mini' coffee morning or, you could wait until nearer Christmas, and invite them in for an informal drink - failing that, a Christmas card with 'From Lily and **** at No. **' could help to break the ice.

Another possibility is to 'pretend' you've more garden produce, flowers, homemade jam/chutney (or summat) than you can use, knock on a couple of doors, introduce yourself and ask if they can use it - or, as you have animals, (and especially if you've seen others with them too), ask if they can recommend a Vet - it doesn't matter that you may already have a Vet, they won't know that!

I can understand you probably feel a bit isolated at the minute, but people need time to get used to change, and that includes their new neighbours (they're always going to be a bit suspicious - will you have wild parties? - dump old bangers in the front garden? - play reggae, heavy metal or Wagner full volume at 3 in the morning?). Give them time, I'm sure you'll soon get to know them - after all, 5 weeks isn't really that long.

 

Did you learn much?

S Wales is much friendlier than North Wales.

Lily1968- it all sounds discouraging but keep going - sometimes it takes people time to register that you've spoken to them!

 

Di Deg Rothmans os gweluch n da.

 

I think there are a lot of areas like this now.

So many people are too busy or too preoccupied with other things and being 'physically' sociable is becoming a lost art because socialising is a thing to be done on a computer to a lot of folks.

I live in a small, no through road, the houses averagely positioned yet there is one couple who avoid everyone else !
The other 6 houses/families pass the time of day with each other, like normal human beings do, but not those two.
They will go out of their way, literally - by using a different path, to avoid speaking to the rest of us.
It's irritating and comes across as rude, i always speak to them and recently as i was saying "hello, how are you" to the wife she threw "hello, fine thanks" over her shoulder as she strode away in the opposite direction .... rude.

Don't get me going on decency and manners

 

They might be under witness protection:OUCH: