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Cancer of the asophagus

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Purple Streaks, Jun 2, 2021.

  1. Purple Streaks

    Purple Streaks Gardener

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    My mum has cancer of the Asophagus , I feel bad asking about this but I don't know where to turn or even What to ask or who to ask.
    She was very poorly before she went into hospital to have it confirmed but it's even more upsetting now I know what it is and that at three weeks off her 90th birthday and seeing her going down hill it is so heart breaking.it's not easy to find anything out in hospital they always appear to be so busy.
     
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    • CanadianLori

      CanadianLori Total Gardener

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      My brother died from that at 55. It is a nasty and invasive cancer however today's technology has come a long way in fighting this disease.

      Did your mother smoke? My brother was a chimney and unfortunately it caught up with him. They did make him very comfortable at home until the last.

      But your Mum is having a lovely good run at 90. Best to you both.

      Hugs from me.

      Lori
       
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      • Macraignil

        Macraignil Gardener

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        I am sorry to hear of your mothers news. I work in a hospital department sharing an office with doctors working under a consultant gastroenterologist who deals with some patients with this disease. I am not sure your local hospital works under the same system as I am familiar with. The doctors I share an office with often get messages from the consultant's secretary to ring patients to discuss treatment plans or other questions and assuming your mother is happy for you to be told details of her case then contacting the consultant's secretary and requesting someone familiar with your mothers case to phone you may be a way to get some information. The system here in hospitals requires patients to be admitted to hospital by a particular consultant who is usually one who's specialty is relevant and the department of that consultant then are responsible for the treatment. They may refer your mother for treatment with someone else and sometimes cases need to be discussed at multidisciplinary meetings to agree the most appropriate plan of action. If you speak to someone working in the hospital where your mother is admitted they should be able to tell who they are admitted under and then the department secretary of that doctor is worth contacting for further guidance in my opinion. I hope this helps. All the best.
         
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        • Fat Controller

          Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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          So sorry to read this, and also sorry that I cannot really offer much in the way of advice; I would suggest asking lots of questions to the nurses, doctors and consultants as they will guide you as to what is happening and what treatments they can give.

          Have you contacted MacMillan? Whilst their primary function is to care for those who have cancer, they are also there for families and to offer advice - certainly worth a phone call?

          Most of all, be kind to yourself as you are going through a very bumpy time right now - keep talking to us, as it often helps to get things off your mind. Make sure you eat properly too, which I know is not easy when you are worried.
           
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          • JWK

            JWK Gardener Staff Member

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            So sorry for you @Purple Streaks and your Mum and family. Sending big hugs :grphg:
             
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            • wiseowl

              wiseowl Friendly Owl ADMIN Staff Member

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              Morning @Purple Streaks so sorry to hear about Mum condition here are some more big hugs:grphg:
               
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              • shiney

                shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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                And even more :grphg:
                 
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                • Michael Hewett

                  Michael Hewett Total Gardener

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                  I'm sorry to read about your mother's condition @Purple Streaks , it must be very distressing for you to see her suffering. I hope the medical people will do all they can to help her and I hope she will be able to enjoy her 90th birthday in spite of it all.
                  Please keep asking the staff in the hospital for advice etc, they may seem busy but it's part of their work.
                   
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                  • pete

                    pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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                    Been there myself a few years ago.
                    90yr old mum, terminal cancer, so I know how you feel.
                    Not much any one can say that will help.
                    I think hospital staff tend to hope you don't ask too many questions.

                    My mum finally got a place in a hospice and the staff there were much easier to talk to.
                    But she died 24hrs after being admitted.
                     
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                    • Upsydaisy

                      Upsydaisy Total Gardener

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                      Many, many hugs from me to you and all your family @Purple Streaks . I echo what has already been said.....keep asking the medical team the questions that you seek the answers to.

                      Talk to us too ...even if only to let off steam. It's amazingly therapeutic and we will offer you every ounce of support we have.

                      My Dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer last year ...he was just short of his 95th birthday. I still find it very raw and know exactly how your feeling.
                      I have so many people on here to thank.....for all their support and kind words , they helped me through some very dark times.
                      Rest assured the NHS will not let your Mum suffer and, as they did for my Dad, they will give their unwavering care, respect and all appropriate medical treatment .

                      If ever you feel like a chat or even to offload what's on your mind ...please don't hesitate to pm me.
                      :grphg:xx
                       
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                        Last edited: Jun 2, 2021
                      • Purple Streaks

                        Purple Streaks Gardener

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                        Thank you everybody mum had a ultra sound scan yesterday .They found a solid mass of food in her stomach , a blockage that had started 5 yrs ago and has been getting bigger that whatever she has eaten since hardly anything has been going down.other
                        This I'm sure started 5yrs ag She hadn't eaten for a week as she had heartburn ,,doctor had prescribed gaviston.
                        The early hours of mornin , she rrang me in agony I got her an ambulance .
                        at A&.E They moniterd her she needed a enema she had a blockage the lactulose they head given her hadn t worked. At exactly five mins before the process my mum s lactose worked. We were told We could go home.
                        it was 7 pm.

                        months later
                        She was then diagnosed with diverticulitis. Since then had a lot of problems because she was born with an arithtic spine so she stooped quite badly .from then on she has been to the hospital for several scans which only showed diverticulitis. She was told it is your back not your stomach..

                        I think she was right all along .it never was her back .
                         
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                          Last edited: Jun 3, 2021
                        • Purple Streaks

                          Purple Streaks Gardener

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                          They seem to be avoiding telling me anything of he cancer except telling me that unless she starts eating she cannot come home .Mum wants to die at home.They say not until she starts eating and stops being sick I don't think she will come home to die.I'm the only one who can visit as it has to be the same one all the time .and I can only see her for an hour each day it's all they will allow me because of covid..I'm feeling that I can't do what she asks.I feel Im Letting her down.also I'm the only. one who she can see because of covid. and only for an hour each day.
                           
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                            Last edited: Jun 4, 2021
                          • Purple Streaks

                            Purple Streaks Gardener

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                            I am in pieces now.They are signing fast tracking forms now to get her home .,it's so she can can end her days at home.
                            in 2019 she had a bloodstesttheir was no sign of cancer. in2020 she said it feit her food wasn't going down.but wouldn't let me get a doctor to see her .we were both scared of covid and the hospital was full of covid patients.
                            So I feel bad for that.maybe I should have

                            My mind is a blank now and I feel
                            I should know more.and do more.but I don't know what.

                            I'm going to see her this evening and I've got to be strong I'm no good off I sit crying all through the visit.my mum's stronger than me.
                             
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                            • CanadianLori

                              CanadianLori Total Gardener

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                              @Purple Streaks :grphg:

                              I was lucky to have the opportunity to spend the entire day before my brother's passing, with him. At his home.

                              I'm glad that you too, will have the home setting to visit and hug and be together before her final rest. :grphg:
                               
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                              • Nikolaos

                                Nikolaos Total Gardener

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                                Don't blame yourself so much, @Purple Streaks. I'm sure your Mum doesn't feel let down by you, as for things that happened in the past, you can't change your decisions so don't worry about it, we all do what we think the best thing is at the time. Have a good cry now if you feel like it, never helps to hold it all in. :grphg: I am certain that like most people, you're an awful lot stronger than you think you are, it's just very hard to see it when we're going through an incredibly challenging time. :)

                                Nick
                                 
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