joke

Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local Chelsea Show where a flower show was in progress.

One leaned over and said, “Life is so darned boring. We never have any fun any more. For $5.00 I’d take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!”

“You’re on!” said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill.

The first old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.

The smiling and naked old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.

“What happened?” asked her waiting friend.

“I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement.”

 

Like It :WINK1:.

 

That gave me a bit of a chuckle!

 

Reminded me of the day I was in the London Underground around Oxford Street. This rather plump young Indian woman got on dressed in one of those papery zip fronted boiler suit thingies the police use for suspects being searched. She had a weird kind of smirk on her face and when the train started off, she unzipped and slipped it off.

She was STARKERS underneath! Not a pretty sight.

Luckily at that very moment the train pulled into my stop and I was able to escape before the men in white coats arrived!

 

This reminds me of when I was a teenager. I used to go to karate classes. Most of the class was made up of teenage lads like me, and a couple of blokes in their 20s, and one very well endowed woman who was probably around 30.

Everyone knows what a karate suit looks like, its hardly more than a dressing gown and pair of loose fitting trousers, all held loosely in place with with a loosely tied cloth belt.

Towards the end of the lesson, as always, the instructor got us all to pair up for 15 minutes of 'free fighting' (sparring I guess, just generally scrapping except with strict rules of semi contact, and more vulnerable parts off limits so that nobody could get hurt).

About 5 minutes into it, we suddenly heard a cheerful but embarrassed shout of 'oooh me <breasts>'.

It was as though we were a movie and someone had pressed pause. All around the hall everybody had stopped dead, mid move. I think my right leg was half way towards kicking somebody in the head, there were fists an inch or two from people's chests, people bent over with one leg sticking back over mid way through a back kick, general arms and legs everywhere but frozen mid move but there was one thing we all had in common, the direction our eyes were pointing. There was this poor lady frantically sorting out her jacket but it was too late, we'd all seen them.

Talking to her opponent afterwards, who I might add was looking very smug indeed, it seems he gone in for a roundhouse kick to her ribs, she'd seen it coming and went to step back but not quite fast enough, and his foot had snagged in her jacket and ripped it open for all to see.

It gave us all quite a laugh, including the lady in question who fortunately wasn't too bashful and had a good sense of humour.

 

Some time ago we were on holiday on Majorca. one afternoon we were on the beach and decided to have lunch at an open beachside eatery/bar. on arrival at the bar i noticed sitting across from us 4 elderly ladies," Topless ":gaagh:. they must have been living on the island for some time as they were Black and wrinkled with the sun .As they nattered they were leaning on the table with their elbows,"What a sight":gaagh: their breasts were laying on the table," Black and Wrinkled like old Yam Tubors ":WINK1:.

( We Left The Bar In Titters) :WINK1:.