Newspaper ads

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by shiney, Feb 11, 2011.

  1. shiney

    shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2006
    Messages:
    60,998
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired - Last Century!!!
    Location:
    Herts/Essex border. Zone 8b
    Ratings:
    +117,297
    [size=medium]These are classified ads, which were, supposedly, placed in a U.K. newspaper:[/size][size=medium][/size]

    [size=medium]FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.[/size]

    [size=medium]8 years old.[/size]

    [size=medium]Hateful little illegitimate child.[/size]

    [size=medium]Bites![/size][size=medium][/size]

    [size=medium]FREE PUPPIES.[/size]

    [size=medium]1/2 Cocker Spaniel,[/size][size=medium]1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.[/size][size=medium][/size]

    [size=medium]FREE PUPPIES.[/size]

    [size=medium]Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.[/size]

    [size=medium]Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.[/size][size=medium][/size]

    [size=medium]COWS, CALVES: [/size]

    [size=medium]NEVER BRED.[/size]

    [size=medium]Also 1 gay bull for sale.[/size][size=medium][/size]

    [size=medium]JOINING NUDIST COLONY![/size]

    [size=medium]Must sell washer and dryer £100.[/size][size=medium][/size]

    [size=medium]WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .[/size]

    [size=medium]Worn once by mistake.[/size]

    [size=medium]Call Stephanie.[/size][size=medium][/size]



    [size=medium]**** And the WINNER is... ****[/size][size=medium][/size]

    [size=medium]FOR SALE BY OWNER.[/size]

    [size=medium]Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.[/size]

    [size=medium]Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.[/size]

    [size=medium]No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.[/size]



    [size=medium] [/size][size=medium]STATEMENT OF THE CENTURY[/size]

    [size=medium]Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker.[/size][size=medium]Billy Connolly -[/size]

    [size=medium]"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"[/size][size=medium][/size][size=medium][/size]
     
  2. Phil A

    Phil A Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    :D

    Aaron A. Aardvark,
    Not the best,
    But first in the book.
     
  3. roders

    roders Total Gardener

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2006
    Messages:
    6,177
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +6,925
  4. clueless1

    clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2008
    Messages:
    17,778
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Here
    Ratings:
    +19,594
    I wish I could find the exact quote, but I can't, but in one newspaper in birmingham, an indian restaurant manager put an ad telling everyone: The restaurant is open again, all the rats have gone.
     
  5. ARMANDII

    ARMANDII Low Flying Administrator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2019
    Messages:
    48,096
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +100,834
Loading...

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice