Pet Grief

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Scotty2088, Mar 30, 2020.

  1. 2nd_bassoon

    2nd_bassoon Super Gardener

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    Yes I know Vale. I've never worked at the referral hospital - I'm a GP so that's a bit above my paygrade! - but their first opinion practice in Portishead is a really lovely place. I'm glad their referral team are equally good :)
     
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    • mazambo

      mazambo Total Gardener

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      I've had some great animal pals over the years and every death has been a heartbreak, if you love animals it always will be, the older you get the harder it is, the loss of my last dog was so painful and at 62 i think he will be my last I've had the odd thought of a rescue dog but I don't think I want to feel that pain again, still not petless though I have poppy my African grey parrot it's like living with a very needy 4 year old:heehee:
       
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      • merleworld

        merleworld Total Gardener

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        Hi Scotty

        I've lost numerous pets over the years, some young but mostly of a good age. I've never really got over any of them or stopped feeling guilty for the things I wish I'd done differently, but it gets easier with time. Last year I lost three dogs aged 15, 16 and 17 as well as a 21 year old cat. Looking back I don't know how I coped. I always have rescue dogs and the way I look at it, the best way to honour them is to share their home with another in need.

        I now have just one young dog called Jac, but I know in time I will add another one or two. In the meantime Jac is an absolute joy and he's keeping me going through these dark times.

        You can never replace the ones who have gone, but you can find joy again. Just take your time and do it when you feel ready.

        I do save their ashes, but they are put away in a cupboard and when I am cremated, our ashes will all be scattered together. I dont believe in the afterlife, but it does bring me some peace.
         
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        • Logan

          Logan Total Gardener

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          I've lost 5 golden retrievers in the past and it doesn't get easier every time one has gone, willow and moss went just 12 days apart and that was a shock. But the thoughts of them still go on and i always remember their birthdays and when they went to rainbow bridge. I think that it helps if you have more than one or you can get another. They won't be replaced by having one but it helps.
          DSC04151.JPG
           
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          • merleworld

            merleworld Total Gardener

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            What a gorgeous pack Logan :wub2:
             
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            • Fat Controller

              Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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              You are most definitely not alone, and indeed i would suspect that those who don't understand the grief that we feel when we lose a pet simply have never had a pet to experience it. I don't care who tries to say any different, they are a part of the family; we feed and water them, talk to them, cuddle them, they go mad daft with joy when you come home from work, you trip over them, they follow you everywhere (including the loo!), they console you when you are down, they know when you are ill and often times they even sleep in the same room as you (my wee Smudge's bed is still sat right next to my bed, as I can't quite bring myself to put it away yet).

              It matters not if you are a child or an adult, a woman or a man...... we all get soppy about our furry companions and the best bit of it is we don't even have to try and hide it -- so we shouldn't hide our feelings when they have gone.
               
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              • Scotty2088

                Scotty2088 Gardener

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                Thanks for your comment FC. Me and my partner were having a bit of a moment tonight funnily enough after a spell of okishness. I told her about this thread and it brings me comfort reading the replies. Oh and those golden retrievers above are stunning.
                 
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                • Logan

                  Logan Total Gardener

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                  Thank you merleworld and @Scotty2088
                   
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                  • Islander77

                    Islander77 Keen Gardener

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                    Last year I lost my dog and one of my three cats the same weekend; they were both old and in great health until that last appalling week. My family are wise and I am too old and disabled now to responsibly get another dog. They ORDERED me, while I was still shellshocked, to go and get THREE more cats. A young lady in Sligo had been taking in street strays and having to go back home to Romania was pleading on done deal... She had nine ! She was delighted I took three. It was not ever replacing Scallywag and Beata and I still grieve for them, as is normal and natural . It was meeting the huge, huge need for loving homes for cats. Our love can save them, and that they save US is a secondary thing. Oh. then Oliver, one of the newbies, arrived home with a companion. A farmer neighbour's cat; starved and neglected. Who is my devoted slave. Healing others heals us. Let the grief run its course; is is part of loving.
                     
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                    • Logan

                      Logan Total Gardener

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                      @Islander77 sorry to hear about your loss. I know cats are easier to look after than dogs. I know no other can replace them but it gives you something else to think about, but still healing at the same time.

                      We lost 2 of our goldies at 12 days apart, the second one was out of the blue.
                      :grphg:
                       
                    • Telmadee

                      Telmadee Gardener

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                      So sorry to all of you who have lost your fur/feathered/scaley babies. Just because we didnt give birth to them doesn't mean we dont love them as much as if we have, and so losing them is heart wrenching. Our 'pets' love us unconditionally as we should them. When we lost our first dog 15 years ago, it traumatised me so much I couldn't bear to get another dog for 3 years because I couldn't bear the thought of getting attached or the kids getting attached and losing one again, when she passed we were all sat with her I asked each child if they wanted to be with her and explained that she would be passing away soon, and all 3 children wanted to be there, they were stroking her and kissing her telling her she was the best friend they had had and how much they loved her, it was truly heartbreaking, but i wanted her to know that aswell as giving the children a chance to say goodbye. We have had many a burial and service in our garden for goldfish, guinea pigs, rabbits, and budgie even day old chicks that I had bred, my kids used to write words or poems and read them as I buried them. All I can say is grieve, dont hide it, why should you
                       
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                        Last edited: May 11, 2020
                      • Islander77

                        Islander77 Keen Gardener

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                        Ah begging to disagree. cats are different is all, not easier. My rescues have all had huge problems due to the abuse they have suffered. Far harder I found than the dog. Just that I am a cat person, not a dog person. I actually mourn and miss Beata who died more than the dog who died the same weekend. But a loss is a loss. My cats sleep alongside me, \\ I know my relationship with my cats is far deeper than most experience. Far more intimate Oh and they love " walkies"' and follow me to the shore. Which is why my family did as they did. WE are each gifted differently.All pets are equal! Used to have a pet lamb and she was so utterly attached.
                         
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