Wedding what would you do...

I think a card and £20 is the way to go.

 

agree with @clueless1

 

and then answer back saying its been cashed by your new mother in law

 

Thanks for your input everyone and it is nice to see the different answers

Evidently when we got the save the date invite in January we were told that the bride to be has always wanted a Christmas wedding and as it is her day the bridegroom and everyone else has to go along with it When the newly engaged couple went to see the vicar so we have been told they learnt that the Saturday and Sunday before Christmas was fully booked so they had to choose the Monday.We have also done some research about the place where the wedding reception is being held and found out that anyone booking a Monday reception gets a big discount off of the bill so it does make me wonder if that is the reason that day was chosen

The other brother and his wife had their first little one in May twelve months since they got married and we also sent a gift card pressie congratulating them on the birth.The bride to be of this wedding has got broody hence the marriage so probably by next Crimbo there will be a new addition to the family so no doubt we will be sending a birth gift to them as well

I think we shall send them some gift cards then they can spend it on what they want for the house etc.We didn't get a proper invite so not sure if the poem was in it like there was for the other brother.We have got so much to spend out on this Christmas that we can't really afford to give the same value of pressie as we did for the other wedding as seeing as we are not going, I don't think we should give the same.When we got married 34 years ago we were given presents like a set of three Tea towels,a salt and pepper set and a toaster etc but these days the youngsters are on really good money and when they shack up with each other they are able to fill their home with all the latest gadgets and then expect the wedding guests to pay for their exotic honeymoons.(We spent a week in a tent in the Lake District as I wanted to go to Scotland for our honeymoon but the finances wouldn't stretch that far)

Anyway,we shall give what we can afford although I sometimes think we were better off when relatives had nothing to do with us for so long,at least it was cheaper.

Thanks everyone for your imput and advice

 

I loathe weddings. This thread captures pretty much why I do

 

A good finish to the end of the thread then

 

Lol!

Weddings to me are always about family/other people rather than the couple themselves. I've seen so many feuds in the past leaving bride in tears etc to conclude weddings are too stressful for me. If I had my way I would elope but Mr Jane is a family man....

 

My missus is very close to her sister, yet they nearly came to blows in the build up to our wedding. I love my sis in law, and I hate confrontation, yet I too found myself having massive 'full and frank exchange of views' with her. I had to even use the line 'when its YOUR wedding THEN you get to decide'. The couple just has to lay down the law some times, and then having done so, then you find out who really cares and who doesn't.

 

I went to a wedding recently were my sister in law got married and her aunt and uncle refused to attend as they wanted to pay for the car and someone else got in there first. It's pretty selfish really. I've heard of other stories where whole families refuse to attend because of on going feuds.

My intention is not to invite my parents to my own wedding. As I know my parents will cause a scene and so me up / make me even more nervous, which is the last stress I want personally.

 

This is why it is customary for the groom to have a best man. Many people make the mistake of simply choosing their best mate as the best man, or worse, the mate that's best at applying emotional blackmail.

When there is a risk of tensions among guests (when isn't there?), it helps to have a best man that is good at diplomacy while also physically strong enough to prise people apart if necessary. His role is then to serve as the bouncer at your wedding and reception, so the newly wed couple can enjoy themselves, and trust that any hassle will be prompted sorted without them needing to worry about it.