Yippee!!! I Broke My Record.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by shiney, Jan 6, 2012.

  1. shiney

    shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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    I got another unsolicited phone call this morning and have broken my record on how long I can keep them on the phone :heehee:. My previous record was 22 minutes but I've now upped it to 28. :yess:

    It was the usual Indian accent call telling me that I have some unwanted files on my computer. I did my usual act of being the very concerned thicko but this time I also had very poor sight.

    As I was very worried and my sight was not too good I asked him to take me through the procedure quite slowly. He carefully described which keys he wanted me to press with my fingers and I asked him if I could press them with my nose as I needed to have my eyes close to the keyboard. He kindly explained that I needed to use two fingers at the same time so my nose wouldn't be sufficient. I did explain that I had a big nose but he said that wasn't any good.

    So I asked him which fingers I had to use and did they have to be on the same hand, or could I use two fingers next to each other :heehee:. I then asked whether I use the whole finger or the one next to it :o :loll:.

    Once I had got that right he asked me what I could see on my screen. So I said that as my eyesight was so bad it would help if he described what I should be seeing. He asked me whether I could see a box on the right of the screen and I told him I could see that quite easily. He then asked what I could see in it and I replied that I keep my pens, pencils and paper clips in it :heehee:.

    After lots more questions and answers - including having to describe what I could see at the top of my screen (which was a camera and the fluffy toys that were given to me for Christmas!) - he gave me a code to put into this box that I could see on the screen.

    He then asked me what I could see on the screen and I said there were some big letters there, something similar to the code he had asked me to put in. He sounded puzzled and asked what they were and I said:- I for India, D for Dummy then the number ten and then T for Testicles. I asked him what that meant and he wasn't sure so asked me to repeat it. I suggested that he typed it on his screen as I said it.

    After that he was rather abusive!! :scratch: :loll: :loll: :loll:

    Mrs Shiney told me off as she had to mop up the tea she had spilt whilst laughing.
     
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    • catztail

      catztail Crazy Cat Lady

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      Oh that made me laff!! I had to read it to my husband too!!! :heehee:
       
    • Phil A

      Phil A Guest

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      And so the legend gets bigger:dbgrtmb::D
       
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      • simbad

        simbad Total Gardener

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        So funny Shiney made me laugh too :loll::loll:
        I'm quite disappointed I haven't had any of those calls for a while now, since I told them they were starting to get on my nerves, could have tried a few of your lines out on them :D
         
      • Spruce

        Spruce Glad to be back .....

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        :yahoo::yahoo::heehee::heehee:

        and me ....

        I usualy put a very posh loud voice on saying (well more than normal :))

        "hes just been arrested and we will require your name and number"

        Phone quickly goes dead !!!!!!!

        since I have been using this one I only maybe get 1 call every month .....

        we should have a sticky who comes up with the longest or shortest or weirdist answer:yess::loll:



        Spruce
         
      • Lolimac

        Lolimac Guest

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        :yess:Shiney you're amazing....absolutley brilliant:loll::loll::loll:
         
      • capney

        capney Head Gardener

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        28 minutes... I wouild have loved to have heard that...
         
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        • Sheal

          Sheal Total Gardener

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          Oh Shiney, I've had tears running down my face with laughing. :loll:I couldn't keep the conversation going for five minutes let alone 28.

          Great stuff! :dbgrtmb:
           
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          • HYDROGEN86

            HYDROGEN86 Head Gardener

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            10/10 :heehee:

            Had to read that out to my housemate also
             
          • daitheplant

            daitheplant Total Gardener

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            Shiney, you are getting worse. Posters have gone up in call centres all over India, DO NOT PHONE THIS NUMBER.:heehee::dbgrtmb: Thousands are now out of work on the sub continent.:(:loll:
             
          • Jazmine

            Jazmine happy laydee

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            :loll: That had me laughing out loud!! How did you keep a straight face Shiney? Now I am picturing you with a huge honk and funny eyes :rolleyespink:
             
          • shiney

            shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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            I'll have to work out a few other deformities!!! :heehee:
             
          • Jazmine

            Jazmine happy laydee

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            It's a good job I have met you -Mrs Shiney deserves a medal bless her :love30:
             
          • shiney

            shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

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            Jazmine, my parents gave her a medal when she took me off their hands :heehee:
             
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