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All Discussions About Other Topics: World Events, DIY etc. **Jokes and other funnies to be put in The Muppet Show Forum, please**

  1. The Muppet Show

    ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK !!!! Section For General Banter And Laughs Including Jokes
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    Latest: Currently Listening To 2025 NigelJ, Dec 20, 2025 at 7:04 PM
  2. Gardeners Corner Question Time

    Members willing to be interrogated by other members can start a thread in here. PLEASE READ THE STICKY ANNOUNCEMENT FIRST.
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    Latest: Ask daitheplant Mike Allen, Jul 19, 2020
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  1. "M"

    Faulty card reader + numpty cashier = card locked!

    FC - my issue with the "primary account holder" actually has a long history. A very well known telephone company wouldn't permit me to add any "friends and family" numbers to the account because...
    FC - my issue with the "primary account holder" actually has a long history. A very well known telephone company wouldn't permit me to add any "friends and family" numbers to the account because the account was in Mr M's name. I argued that, as his wife, I have the power of his life and death...
    FC - my issue with the "primary account holder" actually has a long history. A very well known telephone company wouldn't permit me to add any "friends and family" numbers to the account because the account was in Mr M's name. I argued that,...
    FC - my issue with the "primary account holder" actually has a long history. A very well known telephone company wouldn't permit me to add any "friends and family" numbers to the account because...
    Replies:
    6
    Views:
    700
  2. The Wizard
    Like x 4

    Trivial things that annoy you

    I and many others around my age used to know these places as 'spit and sawdust' pubs. :)
    I and many others around my age used to know these places as 'spit and sawdust' pubs. :)
    I and many others around my age used to know these places as 'spit and sawdust' pubs. :)
    I and many others around my age used to know these places as 'spit and sawdust' pubs. :)
    Replies:
    118
    Views:
    9,066
  3. Jenny namaste
    Like x 12

    Greetings from sunny Swanage ( part 2)

    Glad you enjoyed your stay, we will have to meet up next year.
    Glad you enjoyed your stay, we will have to meet up next year.
    Glad you enjoyed your stay, we will have to meet up next year.
    Glad you enjoyed your stay, we will have to meet up next year.
    Replies:
    47
    Views:
    2,926
  4. Jungle Jane

    Where Can I Buy Blackcurrants From?

    I tried my local Morrisons and couldn't find any at all. Mind you it was a small supermarket. Perhaps I should try a larger one then.We don't have a Waitrose for miles and miles. It's probably...
    I tried my local Morrisons and couldn't find any at all. Mind you it was a small supermarket. Perhaps I should try a larger one then.We don't have a Waitrose for miles and miles. It's probably not worth them opening stores here in EssexI haven't. But would frozen ones be good enough for...
    I tried my local Morrisons and couldn't find any at all. Mind you it was a small supermarket. Perhaps I should try a larger one then.We don't have a Waitrose for miles and miles. It's probably not worth them opening stores here in EssexI...
    I tried my local Morrisons and couldn't find any at all. Mind you it was a small supermarket. Perhaps I should try a larger one then.We don't have a Waitrose for miles and miles. It's probably...
    Replies:
    4
    Views:
    5,703
  5. The Wizard
    Like x 8

    Walked 4 miles of country lanes for a pint

    Oh yes OK then ta!Yes 'M' there seems to be less and less places to go out for a cosy pint these days. Around here it's either rough pubs full of idiots or foody restaurant type pubs where it's...
    Oh yes OK then ta!Yes 'M' there seems to be less and less places to go out for a cosy pint these days. Around here it's either rough pubs full of idiots or foody restaurant type pubs where it's not really comfortable to go and sit if you're just having a drink. All open plan tiled floors are...
    Oh yes OK then ta!Yes 'M' there seems to be less and less places to go out for a cosy pint these days. Around here it's either rough pubs full of idiots or foody restaurant type pubs where it's not really comfortable to go and sit if you're...
    Oh yes OK then ta!Yes 'M' there seems to be less and less places to go out for a cosy pint these days. Around here it's either rough pubs full of idiots or foody restaurant type pubs where it's...
    Replies:
    7
    Views:
    809
  6. Hairy Gardener

    The Birds

    I agree with Loli, it was probably a swarm of flies or ants they were feeding off.
    I agree with Loli, it was probably a swarm of flies or ants they were feeding off.
    I agree with Loli, it was probably a swarm of flies or ants they were feeding off.
    I agree with Loli, it was probably a swarm of flies or ants they were feeding off.
    Replies:
    17
    Views:
    842
  7. Fat Controller

    David Jacobs RIP

    I always remember him on Juke Box Jury in the late 50's to late 60's. He was a genteel presenter , I always liked him . Brian Mathews is still on R2 Saturday mornings doing sound of the sixties at...
    I always remember him on Juke Box Jury in the late 50's to late 60's. He was a genteel presenter , I always liked him . Brian Mathews is still on R2 Saturday mornings doing sound of the sixties at 84 . Pete Murray is still going at 87....whatever happened to Cathy McGowan from Ready Steady Go ?
    I always remember him on Juke Box Jury in the late 50's to late 60's. He was a genteel presenter , I always liked him . Brian Mathews is still on R2 Saturday mornings doing sound of the sixties at 84 . Pete Murray is still going at 87....whatever...
    I always remember him on Juke Box Jury in the late 50's to late 60's. He was a genteel presenter , I always liked him . Brian Mathews is still on R2 Saturday mornings doing sound of the sixties at...
    Replies:
    7
    Views:
    486
  8. shiney

    Anyone Got PV Solar Heating?

    That's like running the heating on hot sunny summer days :heehee:. It works better for airconditioning. :blue thumb:
    That's like running the heating on hot sunny summer days :heehee:. It works better for airconditioning. :blue thumb:
    That's like running the heating on hot sunny summer days :heehee:. It works better for airconditioning. :blue thumb:
    That's like running the heating on hot sunny summer days :heehee:. It works better for airconditioning. :blue thumb:
    Replies:
    13
    Views:
    606
  9. Marley Farley

    "Endurance swimmer Diana Nyad, 64, swims from Cuba to Florida without a shark

    A pile of people swam across the Bering Strait last month. Eeeek! 110 kilometres due to the current. Even in summer, it must be freezing.
    A pile of people swam across the Bering Strait last month. Eeeek! 110 kilometres due to the current. Even in summer, it must be freezing.
    A pile of people swam across the Bering Strait last month. Eeeek! 110 kilometres due to the current. Even in summer, it must be freezing.
    A pile of people swam across the Bering Strait last month. Eeeek! 110 kilometres due to the current. Even in summer, it must be freezing.
    Replies:
    5
    Views:
    655
  10. clueless1
    Like x 3

    New year's resolution?

    Well done clue!! :thumbsup:Val
    Well done clue!! :thumbsup:Val
    Well done clue!! :thumbsup:Val
    Well done clue!! :thumbsup:Val
    Replies:
    34
    Views:
    1,905
  11. Loofah

    How long does it take you to learn a new phone?

    I've got one that makes tea!!!!! :coffee::whistle:Val
    I've got one that makes tea!!!!! :coffee::whistle:Val
    I've got one that makes tea!!!!! :coffee::whistle:Val
    I've got one that makes tea!!!!! :coffee::whistle:Val
    Replies:
    16
    Views:
    1,785
  12. clueless1

    Nutrition, myth?

    I'm on another diet at the moment to help my mind with panic attacks I keep having. I had to give up being a vegetarian after 6 years of doing it and give up all sweet, fatty and unhealthy foods...
    I'm on another diet at the moment to help my mind with panic attacks I keep having. I had to give up being a vegetarian after 6 years of doing it and give up all sweet, fatty and unhealthy foods all together. I have to exercise everyday and eat pretty much nothing but vegetables or fruit...
    I'm on another diet at the moment to help my mind with panic attacks I keep having. I had to give up being a vegetarian after 6 years of doing it and give up all sweet, fatty and unhealthy foods all together. I have to exercise everyday and eat...
    I'm on another diet at the moment to help my mind with panic attacks I keep having. I had to give up being a vegetarian after 6 years of doing it and give up all sweet, fatty and unhealthy foods...
    Replies:
    23
    Views:
    1,619
  13. shiney
    Like x 5

    Does Your John Lewis/Waitrose Have Music?

    Brilliant! :dbgrtmb:
    Brilliant! :dbgrtmb:
    Brilliant! :dbgrtmb:
    Brilliant! :dbgrtmb:
    Replies:
    2
    Views:
    670
  14. mowgley

    R.I.P. David Frost

    And one of his finest Hours...
    And one of his finest Hours...
    And one of his finest Hours...
    And one of his finest Hours...
    Replies:
    6
    Views:
    569
  15. clueless1

    Burning Man

    I have not experienced a bad sand storm like that although we have come across a few.. The worst thing we found were mini twisters.. They were only inches high & would swirl across the road.. They...
    I have not experienced a bad sand storm like that although we have come across a few.. The worst thing we found were mini twisters.. They were only inches high & would swirl across the road.. They will pick your car/truck up & spin you round.. Believe me, had that fright several times... :hate-shocked: I...
    I have not experienced a bad sand storm like that although we have come across a few.. The worst thing we found were mini twisters.. They were only inches high & would swirl across the road.. They will pick your car/truck up & spin you round.....
    I have not experienced a bad sand storm like that although we have come across a few.. The worst thing we found were mini twisters.. They were only inches high & would swirl across the road.. They...
    Replies:
    4
    Views:
    957
  16. Val..
    Like x 4

    I bought a car today!

    On second thoughts, maybe I'll swap it for one of these!!!! :heehee::runforhills:Val
    On second thoughts, maybe I'll swap it for one of these!!!! :heehee::runforhills:Val
    On second thoughts, maybe I'll swap it for one of these!!!! :heehee::runforhills:Val
    On second thoughts, maybe I'll swap it for one of these!!!! :heehee::runforhills:Val
    0058acb5e8505f737c654ef4cc1a2cc7.png bmw-unveils-m6-grand-coupe-with-560-hp-photo-gallery-medium_9.png
    Replies:
    12
    Views:
    707
  17. Jenny namaste
    Like x 10

    Greetings from sunny Swanage Bay

    I haven't been to Swanage for at least ....... a week!:biggrin:
    I haven't been to Swanage for at least ....... a week!:biggrin:
    I haven't been to Swanage for at least ....... a week!:biggrin:
    I haven't been to Swanage for at least ....... a week!:biggrin:
    Replies:
    7
    Views:
    587
  18. clueless1

    How would this make you feel?

    Its why I only post utter sh... rubbish on Bookface. I was a Spaniard for a while as I tried to trick the profiling engine:) It didn't work, but in a previous effort I did briefly start receiving...
    Its why I only post utter sh... rubbish on Bookface. I was a Spaniard for a while as I tried to trick the profiling engine:) It didn't work, but in a previous effort I did briefly start receiving German adverts:dbgrtmb:
    Its why I only post utter sh... rubbish on Bookface. I was a Spaniard for a while as I tried to trick the profiling engine:) It didn't work, but in a previous effort I did briefly start receiving German adverts:dbgrtmb:
    Its why I only post utter sh... rubbish on Bookface. I was a Spaniard for a while as I tried to trick the profiling engine:) It didn't work, but in a previous effort I did briefly start receiving...
    Replies:
    28
    Views:
    1,627
  19. Fat Controller
    Agree x 3

    Aaaaargh!!!!

    Well, the replacement phone arrived - complete with a knackered charger! Fantastic quality control?!?!?!And the credit card company phoned yesterday to try and sell me an upgrade to their...
    Well, the replacement phone arrived - complete with a knackered charger! Fantastic quality control?!?!?!And the credit card company phoned yesterday to try and sell me an upgrade to their 'repayment option plan' - less than 24hrs after cancelling it! They just do not listen.
    Well, the replacement phone arrived - complete with a knackered charger! Fantastic quality control?!?!?!And the credit card company phoned yesterday to try and sell me an upgrade to their 'repayment option plan' - less than 24hrs after...
    Well, the replacement phone arrived - complete with a knackered charger! Fantastic quality control?!?!?!And the credit card company phoned yesterday to try and sell me an upgrade to their...
    Replies:
    13
    Views:
    959
  20. clueless1
    Like x 14

    Fresh start

    Oh well done dude, enjoy.I always enjoyed the 'lessons learned' meetings myself. It gave me the chance to get out reams of paper with my concerns and predicted results clearly stated on and the...
    Oh well done dude, enjoy.I always enjoyed the 'lessons learned' meetings myself. It gave me the chance to get out reams of paper with my concerns and predicted results clearly stated on and the responses from various higher echelons... I used to work with someone who flatly said to anyone,...
    Oh well done dude, enjoy.I always enjoyed the 'lessons learned' meetings myself. It gave me the chance to get out reams of paper with my concerns and predicted results clearly stated on and the responses from various higher echelons... I used...
    Oh well done dude, enjoy.I always enjoyed the 'lessons learned' meetings myself. It gave me the chance to get out reams of paper with my concerns and predicted results clearly stated on and the...
    Replies:
    21
    Views:
    1,073

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