What would you do if you saw a young girl getting bullied?

This is probably a bit more difficult to answer than it may first seem. Or maybe it isn't. I came across this video on YouTube (it is family safe and non-violent ).

I would like to think I'd intervene to prevent bullying if I witnessed it. It is something I can't abide. But what if it's all girls? Are a time when a throwaway remark can completely destroy someone's life, I can honestly say that I as a bloke would be very wary of challenging or protecting young girls. In fact if my wife was there, I'd probably ask her to intervene if I thought she could safely do so. If I was on my own, I might shout something from a distance, but I'd certainly want witnesses to note that I was nowhere near them for the whole time.

 

There's a boy version.

 

I recall reading something thought provoking:
"Who is the real bully: the one doing the bullying, or the one who sees it but does nothing?"

Interesting videos.

 

Very hard as things can get out of hand and then you are part of it
As we have been bullyed and had nasty neighbour we can see both sides, but the one doing the bullying may get bullyed late in life,
I know someone used to bully someone, now that persons has had children and one child is being bullyed at school and now the person who child is being bullyed wanted to say sorry to the person they bullyed years ago

 

"All it takes for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing".

I understand that, and agree with it in principle. The problem comes when, as we know from countless stories reported in the media, to be even casually accused of something is pretty much the same thing as having been found guilty of it, when it comes to situations involving teenage girls and adult males.

I know I'm not the only adult male that worries about this. I've heard many anecdotes off many of my friends and associates that makes it plain that they worry about the same.

This kind of begs another question. Who is the real bully, the obvious bully, or the society that creates a culture that makes people fearful about sticking their neck out?

 

I witnessed a very tall boy - about 6 feet of him - bully a smaller fellow who was intellectually handicapped. Took the kids hat and kept holding it out of reach. So I walked over and told the bully, hand it over or I might take something of his. He gave it back. And I told him to get lost. Which he did.

I don't care if some parent wants to try to defend this type of behaviour. I'd threaten with using my telephone to video and put it on Youtube for the world to see. That too is a darned good deterrent.

 

I go along with @clueless1 , a bloke getting involved is walking on eggshells.
For starters what exactly are you going to do, and then there is the fact that if you do get involved, and it goes further, even the victim might not tell the whole truth.

I can see many situations these days when often doing the, right thing, is going to get you in deep shite, so can understand why often people just walk by.

 

I find that, so, so, so, so sad - but, I also recognise the "truth" in it (insofar as those concerns are genuinely felt by many today).

I think, each circumstance must be judged by its own merits and common sense must prevail. For example, in today's society, would a woman feel comfortable confronting a group of young males? ( @CanadianLori accepted as an exception ) Does it only apply with males in the context of teenage girls? Would it only apply to females in the context of young males? See what I mean?

In the main, I would definitely step up to the mark, be it male or female: bullying behaviour is not something I tolerate nor condone. Clearly, if I believed there was any threat to my personal safety, I would rethink my "approach", but not my intention. However, I'm not naïve enough not to recognise that in doing so, it can come at a personal cost (be that emotional, psychological, maybe physical, etc.) because confronting *any* dysfunctional behaviour can take its own toll on that person (either at the time or after).

 

And what if you do challenge the bullies? How would one go about such? What if they call your bluff?

So you see some teenage girls bullying a younger girl. You maybe shout something like 'oi, what do you think you're doing?' Or 'ere, why don't you just leave her alone?'.

Them one of them replies, what's it to you, or what if I don't, or what you gonna do about it grandad?

Then what? Do you:

A) Say something firm but non-threatening, and get more back chat, furthering empowering the bullied

B) Shout at them and make loosely veiled or even direct threats of physical intervention? In which case they can either, ignore you and see what happens next, which is nothing, thus boosting their confidence. Or they call your bluff and ask you to bring it on, in which case you do nothing, further boosting their confidence.

C) Call the police, in which case nothing happens, and the bullies feel more empowered.

D) Physically intervene, in which case you've just assaulted a girl. They now own your soul, and they know it. You've saved the original victim alright. They've lost interest in her. They now have much bigger fry, and infinitely more opportunity to hurt someone, you.

I suppose you could do as Lori said and get your phone out and film them, perhaps for evidence. But then if you're a bloke and the bullies are girls, what's actually happening then is you are filming young girls on your phone. They now own your soul. Even if you show the coppers, all you can show them is your film that you made of young girls.

So, when it is a bloke that wants to intervene, and the bullies are young girls, what is the best course of action?

 

If there is one saving grace about the fact that sexism still exists, it is in this scenario.

If a teenaged lad tries to say a woman was been pervy towards him, it would almost certainly be dismissed as the lad having a pervy fantasy. Even if actually investigated, there would not be the same automatic assumption of guilt as would be the case the other way round.

Besides which, let's say my missus lost her rag at a group of teenage lads, and they gave her grief. I would have no qualms at all about stepping up and threatening a very violent and decisive response if they didn't vacate our vicinity post haste.

 

Quite right ... that is an absolute NO-NO!
As for filming them, maybe just a photo shot if it is for "evidential" purposes?

How about ... A) ... followed by ...

E) Ignore the bullies now (you've said your bit to them) and focus on the "victim"?

You spent too much energy/attention on the bully and (as you have rightly said) you empower them ... but the person who really needs some sense of empowerment is not the bullies It is the victim! They are the ones who need the backup; space to get a bit of distance; the knowledge that they do not have to accept that behaviour.

Conversely, "bullies" actually tend to be insecure individuals themselves; get them away from their cohort of hangers on .. and you may often find they are damaged individuals who have learned the art of bullying as a self-preservation tactic (ergo attack is a form of defence).

What is most interesting is ... the assumption that it is teens who are "bullied". That may well be the start of it (and maybe even have the most profound and lasting damage for the victim) but bullying doesn't end once you reach the ripe old age of non-teen. It happens in the workplace, it happens on the internet, it happens in your neighbourhood, it happens within families.

 

Ah! So, you are bringing it all down to sexual allegations? Okay, now I see the nub of it.

Sexual allegations was not the uppermost "fear" a woman may face; on the contrary, a woman fronting up a group of young lads for bullying would be more likely to fear a threat of physical/sexual attack. A sexual allegation would not be the first thought in the mind of a woman. Whereas, you believe, a sexual allegation would be the primary concern. I would re-wire your thinking in this day and age; you are just as likely to be physically attacked by a group of bullying females. On a one to one, you might win; three to one, you may win overall, but you'll know it ... girls today do not pull their punches (if they are of that particular calibre). Might need to re-think your "family planning" if you come across the wrong "pack"

 

Only because that's the scenario in the first video I stumbled across on this subject.

You are quite right, that bullying happens right across the spectrum, all ages, all genders, all races, all personality types etc. The teenage girl scenario is kind of special, in that nobody seems to have much in the way of good ideas for handling it.

 

Yep. That is to a teenage girl, like a nuclear cruise missile. Once it's out there, it is going to create epic amounts of damage and is virtually impossible to defend against.

You're right also that young women can pose a serious violent threat. This was always the case, or at least was widely accepted as far back as when I were a young lad about town. I was friends with many nightclub bouncers. Many would often say they preferred breaking up fights between blokes than between women, because while the blokes would engage their perceived enemy, women, once started, will attack anything, with anything. I still wouldn't worry too much about that though. Worst case scenario, you can always throw one of them at another of them, and just repeat until they run out of energy

I disagree with you on one point though. You said someone intervening might win one on one, or even 2 or 3 on one. There is something I learned a long time ago. There are never any winners in a real fight. There may be someone standing and someone not, but even if there's no injury to the 'winner', he or she must still explain at least to plod what happened, and possibly to larger, more aggressive family or friends.