London Attack

Yes, you have to be very carefull as to what you say and to who'm, even if someting is a joke they can take a fence some times here it's better not to say anything to some people

 

I don't believe that can be called "true" its certainly not my experience.
Did you ask them what they were thinking?
Or, is it more "true" that it is what *you* think they are thinking?

I would say that may be true in a minority of cases.
Just look at how the majority of British people have rallied together in the wake of recent events. I don't believe being "polite" needs careful handling; polite is polite.
If people should take offence at you being polite to them, clearly it is they who have a problem - maybe attitude, maybe due to a substance or maybe due to lack of basic social skills or even a mental health issue. In which case, they need a bit of understanding, perhaps compassion, or simply acceptance of who they are? It takes all sorts to make up a world.

They aren't and, apart from the rare occasion (see above for examples), it is the same over here with eye contact/smiles/hellos.

 

I've found its more like that in the south and in town-up north its a bit friendlier. When I lived in Fleet only our nextdoor neighbour in the cul de sac spoke to us. Where we are now we had spoken to more people in the first 2 days than we did in the 5 years living in Fleet.

 

I was actually going to post something similar myself. Back when I lived in the north, and for that matter when I visited up until a few years ago, it would have been considered ignorant if someone sat next to you on the bus and you did not speak. Quite the opposite of my experiences in some areas of the south.

 

So relieved to see you narrow it down to "some" and not all

 

Well, I couldnt say "all" areas. My Grandfathers sister moved down to the London area pre-WW2, so I think she must have taught many how to be polite...

 

Now, if I'm going to be a bit "picky" here ... I think etiquette and "manners" where actually invented in the South Another import!

 

Just a little tale in the context of friendliness/manners and ... diversity.

Around 5 years ago, I was in the company of a group of people for the purpose of celebrating someone's birthday. It was an ad hoc order some pizzas affair in a public setting; very informal. I was the only English person in the group and only one of two females; the other female was Chinese. In addition, there was a Chinese male, a Turkish male, the birthday boy (a Shia Muslim from Pakistan), an Afghanistan male (Muslim) and a Sunni Muslim (from Libya). A very diverse group, who had formed bonds due to a common (other) goal. Because it was a celebration, it didn't matter who came, the more the merrier!
A good time was had by all but, at one point, a younger group of three males joined us. When I was introduced to them, I smiled, stood and offered my hand to shake and one of them looked absolutely horrified waved his hands in front of him in a no-no manner and, basically, refused to shake my hand! My Chinese friends both looked startled at this "rudeness".
Now, by English standards, that is rude! Clearly, by my Chinese friends reaction, in China it must also have been considered "rude". Cue awkward moment!!

I ignored it, smiled, use my unwanted handshake arm to indicate they should sit down and said how lovely it was to meet them: what else could I do?

My dear Libyan friend had noted that awkward moment and could see both sides of the awkwardness. So, he took a moment to quietly explain to me that these young man are not allowed to touch a woman they do not know - yes, even a handshake! - but they had yet to learn the skills in which to handle such a situation in a way which could satisfy their culture vs our culture.
Interestingly, I then realised that he had never *touched* me either (I mean handshake!). More interestingly, I bumped into him a couple of years ago: he was now married and his wife was with him. It was an unexpected encounter and what really stunned me was - he gave me a "polite English" HUG!!! I can only suppose that a married man, meeting an old friend, comes under a different "etiquette" in his culture

In all honesty, if I travel to another country, I do read up to try and understand the "local" do's and don'ts. I also admit I was brought up on the maxim: "When in Rome ... " But, the diversity of our Country now is such that we do need to understand the subtle nuances of cultural "politeness". I'm so glad I understand that I wasn't being snubbed because that knowledge stands me in good stead forever onwards. I think that lad has also learned from the experience, so, a cultural win-win.

Sorry for rambling - but you never know when *your* perception of politeness may actually be someone else's cultural big fat no-no! It changed my perception, expectations and understanding for the future and for good. Who knows, maybe just reading my experience may be something which you draw upon yourself ... one day?

 

I'm going to be picky

That's why i put here

Yes, we even was talking to lady in the shop this morning about things and she has a lovely time with her neighbours and even goes on holiday and we say it wouldn't happern where we live, too many brown noses

 

I really like this because it points out the BIG problem that is happening.
These people are in what used to be OUR country,.. now,... it's all well and good saying we should understand them, but they are here,... not in their country, so basically, they should be expected to understand us, and the way we carry on.

Just in the same way we are expected to understand their strange ways if we visit to their countries.
I dont care what any one says, there is no integration going on at all.

 

@shiney, I fancy going to Rome now....do you think I could meet you there so you could pinch my bum!!!

 

That's quite an invitation.....can I stroke your asparagus too??