What to say if you don't want to attend a birthday party?

I have a client who has invited me and my wife to her 40th birthday party ... My wife does not know her, and does not want to go to a party where she knows no-one .... It's also a fairly long drive for a friday night

The client is one of my best clients, and I have been working for her for a long time ...

before inviting me and my wife, she asked me what we are doing on that night, and I said we always stay home on a friday night and have nothing planned

I ignored the 1st invite which was sent to my hotmail, as it was RSPV .... just received another email from her asking me to attend

I don't want to be rude, and don't want to go, but don't know what to reply politely?

 

Say you are going, and then phone to say you have broken down on the way.

Other than that come clean.

 

it's a fancy dress aswell ... so I don't want to go either (I don't want to spend loads of cash on clothes that I will only ever wear once) ...

 

You could go as a gardener *Dim*

Wellies and a flat cap.

 

Tricky.
When she asked what you were doing that night you should have said you weren't sure, you'd have to check your diary with your wife first. Then you'd have had a ready-prepared get-out.
I think Shiney's plan is good, or just come clean, say you're not party animals. Truth is often best! Or invent a late appointment that friday which would preclude your getting there.

 

I just say it's not my sort of thing,

If i don't want to go i say from the start

 

Follow Shiney's plan, go on your own for a short while and then make your excuses. Don't bother with the fancy dress. If anyone asks about it either (a) say you've come as a boring old fart or (b) you were planning to come in school uniform, but another kid nicked your blazer. Then produce a note from your Mum explaining why you're not in uniform.

 

Turn up, get totally lashed up & nick all the bits of pineapple off the cocktail sausage sticks.

You won't have the same bother this time next year then.

 

I like shineys advice... and
it might turn out to be a good party, because you don't expect it
as for the fancy dress - there is always some stuff in the house (old hat, swimming cap/goggles, apron, skirt..)

 

Yes, I also agree with Shineys plan. You do have to go Dim. You say he is a client of yours---perhaps you will meet other potential clients at the party.

 

... if I follow Shiney's plan, I will most prob end up doing that ... her and her husband are Americans and are party animals, so it will most probably be a good party ... all her mates are American schoolteachers and most are single

she has hired a band aswell ...

Irrespective if I go or not, I will get her a decent present

 

Was thinking about your issue Dim. Just to add, it is an oppertunity to go to a gathering when you do not know folks, you never know who you will meet. People can be interesting and knowledgable in lots of areas, they also enjoy talking about themselves. Never know what you will learn.
And the party, sounds like it will be a lot of fun.
When I go to conferences, some of my office mates attend the same, I really don't like sitting with them, see them everyday. So I get to know someone else. Hope your wife will change her mind.

 

How valuable is this client to you?

Sometimes we have to be a bit fickle when it comes to those that give us our money. I once had a boss that had no real friends or family, so tried to make his own out of those that worked for him. That meant we had to sometimes go out when we didn't really want to, and pretend we were his best mate. The sad part is, he was actually a very fun and likeable lad, and could have easily made some real friends, but he was also the one that paid my wages, and therefore enabled me to pay my mortgage and bills, and therefore warranted a bit of loyalty.

 

He wasn't called David Brent, was he?

My favourite scene from 'The Office' is where Brent is talking to camera about how he dresses up in silly clothes for the amusement of the office, and how all his underlings love it: 'you should see their faces!'. Camera then cuts to Brent walking through the office in some kind of superhero costume. No one looks up or gives him a second glance.