One down: one to go! (Bruised heart nonetheless).

First one left at 0615hrs today.

All went swimmingly ... up until ... "The Hug!" (dun-dun-DUUUUUUN!!)

I've shopped, I've packed, I've sorted (all under the illusion of "we"! ).

I fell out of bed to meet "His Master's Voice" declaration that they simply *must* depart by 0600hrs! However, they ran late (Not my fault!)

That final hug? Poor lad suddenly developed an "emotion" hormone (of the 'sensitive/scared witless kind' .... *wibble* )
Did I kow-tow to it? Did I heck! (held off for at least 5 seconds after they had pulled away in the car )

This time next week will be the turn of: "Second Model" ... beggar had better not put me through the same paces! Or I might have to give him a clip round the ear to remind him - I *am* in control of my emotions!! (but only when you are looking! In the closet may tell a different story.)

When my eldest child was born ( a long, long time ago, now!), one of my brother's wrote him a letter (sweet!). In it he wrote something along the lines of: "... they cannot wait to teach you to walk/talk ... then, when you have learned that, they will spend the rest of their time telling you to "sit down/shut up!" There's many a truth in that!

How ironic that we celebrate their first (baby) steps, yet, become a tad bereft when they take their first steps into an independent ADULT world?

Ho hum, nowt as queer as folk, eh!?

So, at early doors, how did I take my mind away from being maudlin?

~ took some photo's
~ did some gardening
~ gave dog a wee break
~ sent an email or three
~ did some gardening
~ aired son's room
~ did some gardening
~ gave dog a wee break
~ got wet from gardening
~ replied to text from son
~ continued gardening
~ replied to more text from son
~ hinted (via text) that kettle box may, just maybe, holds some "instructions", so not to be too, too quick to dispose of the box
~ checked travel reports for Mr M
~ took photo's of feline who appears to be going through an ID crisis
~ gave up on gardening
~ went through photo archive
~ too depressing; gave up on photo archive
~ read PM's; must try harder to be articulate!
~ washed down the sinks/kitchen/bathroom/utility room
~ scratch all that, reverse it: felt like moo poo the whole day while trying to engineer activities which would take my mind off things (activities are real - the illusion is that they took my mind off emotions

Conclusion: Thank goodness for:-

~ camera (makes you rethink, readjust, refocus!)
~ gardening (makes you think, adjust, refocus)
~ clever clogs older brothers who (unknowingly) give you an angle you can relate to and put into perspective many years after their birth!
I'm going away next Wednesday (simply because it is easier than going through this all again this time next week! - I won't *really*, it just feels good to say it at this point in time )

 

Ohh dear, dear Mum. What an outpoor from your aching heart.
But that is precisely what you have cleverly prepared them for. They will serve you well in time and you will have even more reasons to be proud.
At the Hospice yesterday, I was introduced to a young lad - Harry was volunteering in the Lottery office as he still hasn't got a job -post Uni. He's here to design new promo. material 'cos he's good at it . Watching him was like an artform . He has so much skill but was polite, sweet, courteous and a pleasure to talk to.He had been brought up very well I could sense that. Just as I'm sure it is the same with your two sons because you have given them such good grounding.
Now come on , we are all here for you during this emotional and difficult fortnight so, tell us whatever you need to, whenever you need to,

Jenny namaste

 

Don't tell me Mum...i can't bear itMahoosive

Fat lot of help i am...sorry

 

You, my lad, are still on honeymoon! Ergo ... you've missed nowt ...

... just fast forward a decade (or three?) and you'll get the gist (My two are off to uni this month today and this time next week ... ... and if that isn't enough for you ...
... I'm menopausal ....
BITE ME!!! ) ... or not ...

Yesterday, I may have been Ivy ... today? ... I may be poison Ivy (depends how you approach me )

 

Oh how I feel for you "M"! An old saying my mum used from time to time......when they're young they make your arms ache, when they're old they make your heart break!

Hang in there! It will get better in a few weeks after the first phone calls home etc., when they say they're having a whale of a time and you're still busy trying to hold it together emotionally.

When my daughter told me she was going to Canada I had nearly three years to get used to the idea, with my son going to America it was just over a year. They had both gone within four months of each other, I was gutted! I'm emotional now writing this ......once a mum, always a mum and we never stop missing them.

Chin up! They'll be back to pester the life out of you and create havoc just when you've filled your new life of freedom with things that you want to do! Mine still do it from a distance.

 

Ask them to send there washing home

 

Thank you, @Sheal your words were very comforting and very wise as it turns out.

Had a lovely long call with him this evening. He had a really low and difficult day and night yesterday (quite out of character for him) but, chatting to him today he seems to have perked up a bit and my mind is certainly more at ease! One other lad moved in yesterday too. Like my son, he also experienced that huge, overwhelming low. Contrary to my son, that lad has chosen to return home this evening and go back next weekend when Fresher's Week begins. (Or maybe I'm just a meanie for not offering my lad that option

@Jenny namaste Harry sounds like a real gem! How saddening that he isn't able to get a job, despite his qualifications. But, he's very wise to utilise his skills in voluntary work while he's waiting to secure paid employment. Good on him!

They've been responsible for their own laundry for the past few years (part of my "life skills" training )

In some ways, I think my "life skills" training may have caused one of the problems for him: the communal kitchen apparently is "filthy!"; the accommodation block, "disgusting" but his room is "ok" now he's 'cleaned' it Trust me, I'm not a slave to housework, nor do I expect military standards ... so, if he was feeling shocked and let down by the standard of the accommodation, it must be quite dire! But, that is all part of "real life" and communal living.

Now, just got to get youngest ready for his journey next Friday. Off to do some last minute shopping with him on Monday - but he has the advantage of seeing what his brother has taken and has had time to consider his own 'requests'

Interestingly, Mr "M" seems to have taken it even harder than I have

 

Your 'training' has obviously paid off "M". He'll have the whole place sparkling like a new pin by the time freshers week starts.

 

And then there were NONE

At 0530hrs, my 'baby' left with his Dad, on the journey to his "new Uni life", at Swansea.

His Dad returned at 2015hrs - a very long day of travelling for him! A culture shock for my lamb.

It's a strange thing: as parents, we only have our own parents "parenting" skills to draw upon. And we'll be selective on that! Yet, because history/culture/ethics become progressive, we still find ourselves floundering: have we said the right things? *Done* the right things? Sent them *with* the right things?

Now, no one wishes to be viewed as 'helicopter parents' but, as I say, times are progressive (yet, could equally be deemed regressive!) and the anxieties kick in. On the one hand, I do feel confident that I have taught my children to be able to cook, clean, care for themselves. They have experience in having to do their own laundry, cooking, cleaning up after themselves!

So, why do I feel so bereft?

In addition, I really do appreciate just how demanding Uni life can be. How being catapulted into an "alien" world it can be (albeit, for me, it was from a different perspective).

And while I have no designs on molly-coddling them, (did I *really buy allium Molly just yesterday?) I am vulnerable to that parent paradox: have I done enough? Are they mature enough!? What if I haven't prepared them enough? But they *should* be "old" enough!!

I miss them both already and completely!


*Gives self a stern talking to!*