Long lost friends

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by clueless1, Aug 17, 2009.

  1. clueless1

    clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

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    Do you ever think about long lost friends? Do you ever wonder how they're doing or even if they're ok? I'm not talking about casual aquintences, or mere drinking buddies, I mean real friends who, for whatever reason, you've lost contact with without actually having fallen out.

    A couple of days ago, for no apparent reason, I suddenly started wondering about one such friend who I haven't seen for about 15 years, and I can't shake off the inexplicable feeling that somethings up.

    Does anyone else get this?
     
  2. Penny in Ontario

    Penny in Ontario Total Gardener

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    I've lost touch with some great friends over the years, and do miss them, but life does get in the way.
    Hmmmm, with having that feeling, maybe its time for you to track down this friend.
     
  3. lollipop

    lollipop Gardener

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    It seems to happen a lot during a particular age range, I have noticed it and talked about it with my group of friends, maybe it is a kind of saying goodbye to your youth I don't know. I used to hanker after my past-still have a little yearning but it is fading as I age thankfully.
     
  4. clueless1

    clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

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    Penny, I know what you mean about life getting in the way. We've bothed moved on (and in my case moved away), started families, pursued careers etc. I won't be trying to track down my old friend for a couple of reasons. Firstly because she is a woman and I'm a man, and although our friendship was purely platonic (in that neither of us wanted it any other way), our other halve's might be a bit put out, and I wouldn't want that. Also, as with any long lost friend, there is always the possibility that they don't want to be tracked down by an old friend, so I won't make any attempt to find or contact her.

    Lolli, I hear what you're saying, and I think that does happen from time to time, but I don't want my past back. I'm happier, stronger and fitter than I was, and have pretty much everything I want (not being materialistic in nature makes that quite easy to achieve). Its just a bit odd that this one individual, out of many good friends that I've lost contact with over the years, should suddenly pop into my head now. The reason we drifted apart in the first place is because she found herself in a very abusive relationship, became very withdrawn, and pushed all her friends away. Maybe that's why she's popped into my head from nowhere, perhaps a touch of guilt on my part that I did nothing about her problems (not that there was anything I could have done), but this was years ago, so why now I wonder.
     
  5. lollipop

    lollipop Gardener

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    Some songs do it aswell-Taylor Dayne's Tell it to my heart, and Duran Duran just suck me straight back there.


    I remember so much and again so little. Some of my old friends I would love to meet again-some not so much.



    I wouldn't mind having the joy I used to have back in my life, but I am happier too Clueless. I love my life-even the troubles I have had I am okay with-they made me who I am.
     
  6. clueless1

    clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

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    That's a very profoundly optimistic view. I agree though. It sometimes comes up in conversation as to whether or not any of us have any regrets. I always answer 'no' for my part. Yes there's been mistakes, some big ones, but if I could go back and change any of them in light of new experience I wouldn't, because those mistakes (that some might call regrets) led me to where I am now, with a lovely missus, an ace son, a half decent job etc...
     
  7. Marley Farley

    Marley Farley Affable Admin! Staff Member

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    I agree with Lolli on this clueless in lots of ways, but also I think we all get those wistful "what if" moments through out our lives...
    Something in your everyday life I think, sparks a memory in the unconscious mind of days gone by.. We then pull it all forward to today & wonder what that person is doing now.. Has their life changed like ours etc....??
    Strange, but I think it is life, as we change, memories can suddenly come to the fore & seem quite real & urgent... I think it is to do with life's cycles.. Usually every 10 yrs apparently..!!! :)
     
  8. lollipop

    lollipop Gardener

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    This is a lovely thread Clueless, a very human way of thinking. Glad I am not the only one.
     
  9. NatalieB

    NatalieB Gardener

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    I have moved about a bit - and my 'childhood' friends are actually friendships that were in West Australia. I have kept contact with some throughout the entire last 25 years (when I moved from there to Canada) and more recently on facebook, have been contacted/made contact with others. It is interesting to catch up initially, but even then, it fades out to a not so regular comment, or comments on photographs of children etc., but it is fun to keep in touch. I know that if I were to return there for a holiday, I would make sure we had an 'old friends' night out. I do have one friend though who seems to have fallen off the face of the earth as far as everybody is concerned....and do wonder about them and their family sometimes.
     
  10. Sussexgardener

    Sussexgardener Gardener

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    Memories do it for me - often popping into your head at the oddest of times. Just yesterday I was thinking about my best friend of school. We were thick as thieves and very similar; did the same three A-Levels, both hated sports, lived round the corner from each other, heck, even thought about going to the same university! But I got excellent A-Levels results (so did he) and I re-considered where I wanted to go. After that we sort of drifted apart...and no I haven't seen him in over 15 years. A search on Facebook has proved nothing, another good friend of ihs who is on there hasn't heard from either and his parents have moved house (I think).

    Sometimes though it's best to keep memories in the past. I would love to know what some people I knew 20 years ago are doing...but I don't need to see them. Does that makes sense? I am a very different person to the one from 20 years ago.
     
  11. clueless1

    clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

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    That makes perfect sense. From time to time I bump into old associates and friends I haven't seen in a while, and the conversation always follows the same formula. It starts off with some grossly exaggerated display of being pleased to see each other, then you get the how you doings, where you livings etc, then once that's out of the way you get the 'have you seen suchabody lately? How are they these days, and you each take turns at going through the names of each of your mutual friends from the past enquiring if the other had seen or heard of them lately and how they are. For someone else to tell me that they saw suchabody recently and they were doing well, that's good enough for me.
     
  12. music

    music Memories Are Made Of This.

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    funny how the mind /memory works.you have a picture in your mind, of a face of someone/a friend
    of years ago ,you can have dreams and see that face ,the hair colour etc. the reason i am saying this is.i had a very good friend a number of years ago and i had this memory of a lad ,curly hair,broad face,about the same size as me .we were both great mates in the merchant navy ,sailed a few trips on the same ships.i was looking at some old photograghs recently and came accross this very small photo,about 3 inch x 3 inch this was a photo of my friend in the navy and myself ,raising the red duster(FLAG). my friend had very lank hair,thin lips,and was a good half head smaller than me?.
    funny how the mind /memory works. music
     
  13. music

    music Memories Are Made Of This.

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    i think the worse case is.you leave the house on a lovely sunny day,having a nice stroll, feeling well about life,then you meet someone you have not seen for years then it starts .have you heard about so and so??
    he died 2 weeks ago! have you heard about so and so ?he is in a bad way.
    have you heard about so and so?he was in a road accident!!. by this time your sun has gone and a big black cloud is hanging over you.feeling depressed ,you head for the nearest (PUB)!!!!!. MUSIC:dh:
     
  14. cajary

    cajary Gardener

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    You guys never tried Friends Reunited:scratch: An absolute rubbish site to try and navigate round.!! It has put me in contact with people I haven't had contact with for over 40yrs. The lives they have lived are fascinating. Persist with their software. It's worth it.:wink:
     
  15. Sussexgardener

    Sussexgardener Gardener

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    I used it years ago and got in touch with a few old school friends for a while. But a) said friends have to be on there! and b) I found that just because we were friends at school, did not necessarily mean we would continue to be friends 15 years on.

    Facebook is great for contacting people (same applies though in that they have to members!). I am in touch with loads of people I have known over the years, having lived and worked in many different places. They're not all friends, but it's a good way of not totally losing contact with people.
     
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