So I said to the girl at the Tesco checkout:"Can you do this any cheaper love, it's got today's date on it?"She said: "Look Mister, do you...
July 31st, I planted some seed potatoes for Christmas harvest -- 2 per 30 litre Plastic pot. The mail order S/Ps looked manky so I didn't expect...
Me: How do you keep your car so shiny?My friend: Polish.Me: Oh, sorry. Jak dbasz o to, aby Twój samochód był tak lśniący?
@RetiredRotavator is a Palindrome
A Yorkshire couple have been married for many years when the wife passes away. The husband goes to a local stonemason to get a headstone for the...
@Retired Excellent restoration on a good make of Rotavator.Back in the 1960s and 1970s When I was a Landscape Gardener owned 2 Howard rotovators...
My stall at the Notting Hill carnival made a mint this year.Selling stab vests is my best idea yet !
It's been a funny old morning.Firstly I found a capful of money.Then I got chased by some guy with a Guitar....
The transcript of the recent Cobra meeting, following the Rotherham and other riots, has been released.1st Cobra (Keir Cobra) Hiss ,hiss, hiss,...
Keir Starmer is out jogging and accidently falls into a river. Three young lads saw the accident and without a second thought jump in and drag out...
I had to read this twice.I saw this vampire sucking the blood out of a pensioner."Oy! " I shouted. "I thought you undead couldn't feed in the...
@CarolineL Just found the old thread. For a really heavy crop try cutting the bottom out of a 30 litre pot, then planting 2 seed potatoes as...
Hi @CarolineL I use fresh bought garden compost and add Fish Blood and Bone fertiliser. I buy a special potato fertiliser from eBay. Spuds...
Sarpo Mira main-crop - from 2 seed potatoes in 30 litre plastic pot. Planted 17th March. Harvested today. Last year we got a much heavier yield,...
My local YMCA burnt down last night.Outside were 20 firefighters, 12 police officers, 14 red Indians, 11 cowboys and 10 construction workers.
I sat near some Chavs on the bus home today.For the whole journey it was just 'F this' and 'F that'.Guess they had to discuss their exam...
I called the doctors and said I've had the sh*ts for six weeks.She said not to worry they go back to school next week.
"We'd like to take this opportunity,to thank 12.6 million UK Pensioners for being our first easy target"!signed, Keir;- Angela;- Rachel.
Captain Hook, bought his hook from a second-hand store....
The woman who lost to a male boxer at the Paris Olympics says everything's fine,she just fell down some stairs.
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