Discreet tree removal

Hi all,

Wanted some help here. I have a huge number of trees in my garden, and need to remove two or three of them. Problem is they need to die "naturally", and undetected. Now that can only mean one of two things, either I have a wife that refuses to accept that the trees in question are a serious pain and eye sore, or they're protected via a Tree Preservation Order, I'll let you decide! I have read that digging a small trench round the base of the trunk and pouring a concentration of salt water into the trench will do the trick, and that this will not be detectable, is that right? I'm not sure how big to dig the trench, as I have heard that the salt water can prevent growth in the surrounding area. So if it's a tree approximately 9 inches wide at the base, how wide and how deep should I go to just kill the tree?

Believe me, I'm not one to get rid of trees for the hell of it, I love them, but considering how many we've got and how much of a pain these ones are, then I'm afraid it's time they moved on. But I have to do it discreetly!

 

I`m sorry, but if these trees are covered by TPO`s you cannot expect people on here to advise you on how to destroy them.:gnthb:

 

I'm with Dai there i'm afraid, we'd be guilty of aiding and abeting a criminal offence.
Anyone can read this, including the council, police, environment agency etc.