The Muppet Show

kryssy...would you mind speaking up a bit..I can hardly hear you

I can cope with it all, except the last one, which I don't believe in!Good thoughts, dq, thank you!

A captain and his mate are on deck of there pirate ship and the mate asks the captain how he lost his left leg. "I fell overboard, said the captain, and a shark took it off" The mate then asked how the captain lost his right hand. "I got it caught in the rigging, repiled the captain, and tore it...

Two mates on a boat and the first says to the other; "There bloodly big pigeons up there" The second replies, "They're gulls" The first then says, "Boys or gulls, they're still bloody big pegeons"

>>>> There is a hush... >>>> >> A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a >>>> >> larger congregation that will pay him more. >>>> >> There is a hush within the congregation, .no one wants >>>> >> him to leave. >>>> >> Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City >>>> >>...

Good morning Shiney Q 1.That I would think Is down to your own Individual Principals and Honesty And Like me we both know the answer.Q.2.Yes once a library always a Library. Because you can borrow them all over again. Q.3.If everyone else knew the rules then In their eyes you would be cheating...

:D :D :D :D I just read this out to Mr Kandy and all I got for my trouble was :rolleyes:I would gladly sign mine up for the classes.I am having to draw up a list and instructions on how to do things because if I pop me clogs first,apart from cooking he wouldn't be able to...

Subject: European nations security alerts Date: Mon, 18 June 2007 11:48:49 -0700 Following increased security alerts many European nations are scaling up their defense conditions...The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level...

You might have seen these before ....Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make...

Rt Hon David Miliband MP Secretary of State, Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), Nobel House 17 Smith Square London SW1P 3JR16 May 2007Dear Secretary of State,My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for �£3,000 from the Rural...

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Midland, Texas, awaiting their flights.One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Houston for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student,...

The inventor of the Harley Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven."Arthur thought...

I tink I'm doomed 'cos I went and larfed

I can't remember the exact figures but something like this:- Around 10% of accidents are caused by drivers who are drunk which means that 90% of accidents are caused by drivers who are sober.So the logical conclusion must be it is safer to drive whilst drunk!

Now that made us ALL laugh Fonzie, nice one :D

First class :DAnother from the master :D

I'm gonna be ill if you keep making me laugh so much :D

Bit of both, walnut!

Excellent Gog's:D

A normal 40 something, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas...