The Muppet Show

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician, who was also a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little leaving speech at the dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few...

Sorry Zigs, that was me ... I was in shock Now amended.

Buy them a live turkey

Is it just me that thinks this Lidl advert should perhaps have been worded differently?

I reckon I'm better at mowing than the chap in the video. He can't even keep his mower on the lawn.

Better, 110.

Reported!

Here is "Owen Paterson" providing us with his pearls of wisdom:

What a happy mummy cat.

Bit difficult to fry this one...

Way to go............

Isn't that about the same as a cup of Starbucks coffee has cost each of us?

The only one which shrinks as the weather gets warmer.

Doesn't look like a Wildebeest but a smaller Antelope but whatever, it's a mouthful and it won't need to eat for 4/6 weeks. As snakes don't have any other way to eat but whole it has to be head first so the limbs face the right way when swallowing.

It's a Shar-pei, believe they were first bred in China, they need a lot of looking after because of their very wrinkled skin. Val

Well, I don't know about that, but I want a Vacuum Robot .. but they are SO expensive ...

Another type of "diving". Guy was paid $2,000,000 to do this.He wouldn't do it again, even for $10,000,000.

I proposed to my missus in a pub in Portsmouth called the Ship Anson. I did the one knee thing and everything, and had even bought a nice ring with a big chunk of ruby in it. Wife accepted of course, and the ring was far too big. Then my overly superstitious sister told me ruby was bad luck on...

Dinnae teach yur granny tae suck Eggs. (Don't try to teach someone something they already Know). Yer Bum's oot the windae) (Your Talking a lot of Rubbish). Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye. (What's meant to happen will happen).