Burns night.

Anyone having haggis tonight ?...... no ?. Anyway thought I'd share a few scottish jokes with you.
A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
'Comfy?'asks the dentist.
'Govan,' she replies.

Did you hear about the fella who liked eating bricks and cement?
He's awa' noo.


After announcing he's getting married, a boy tells his pal he'll be
wearing the kilt.
'And what's the tartan?' asks his mate.
'Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress,'

 

Too busy tonight so festivities and haggis planned for tomorrow night instead. Not being a Scot, could you explain the first joke to an Englishman please :confused:

 

Me too Dalbuie, and the second one :D

 

Yea i were thinking about Burn's night Dalbuie i found the following re- Burn's suppers... Held all over the world on January 25th, Robert Burn's presumed birthday, the Burns Supper is an integral part of the Scottish calendar and has been taking place annually for around 200 years now. While events may vary in location, size and formality, what they all have in common is a food and drink-fuelled celebration of the national Bard.

Here is a brief guide to Burn's Night, should you wish to host an event yourself or even so you know what to expect if you're attending an event for the first time.

The Selkirk Grace

The reading of the Selkirk Grace is an important part of the event and its purpose is to usher in the meal. It is at this point that the soup traditional cock a leekie (chicken and leek) is served.

Piping in the haggis

The meal's main attraction will now enter the room on a silver platter, with the piper leading the procession and followed by the chef and the person who will address the haggis - and there's often a whisky-bearer to make sure it receives a proper toast. Guests should be standing at this point and often clap in time to the music until the haggis reaches the end of its journey ,the table.

Address to the haggis

Time-honoured tradition states that the reader should now recite "To a Haggis" in their most convincing/entertaining Lowland Scots accent, and should cut the haggis at certain points of the poem. Cutting the casing along its length at His knife see Rustic-labour dight", and letting some of the insides spill out ("trenching its gushing entrails"), the recital ends with the reader raising the haggis during the final line ("Gie her a Haggis!) at which point the audience applauds, shouts the haggis! and raises their whisky glasses.

Serving the haggis

The haggis is served wi' ba**** neeps an' champit tatties? (mashed turnips and potatoes), followed by a dessert of "typsy Laird" (a Scottish sherry trifle). Haggis is no longer not just for meat eaters , several tasty vegetarian variations, for example Macsween's exist too. The haggis also has a little bit of whisky added too sometimes.

Entertainment

There are often recitals of famous Burns works such as "Ae Fond Kiss" and his best loved tale "Tam O'Shanter" which was written near his home Ellisland Farm near Dumfries and is brought to life in an audio visual presentation by the Burns National Heritage Park in Alloway, Ayrshire.

There is also usually the Immortal Memory which is a tribute to the life, works and all round importance of Burns ending with the toast, "To the Immortal Memory of Robert Burns!"

There is often also a toast to the Lassies and the reply to the toast to the Lassies, a humorous tribute to woman and equally humorous response - quoting from Burns himself which originated as a thanks to the lassies for preparing the meal. It is then followed by the reply thanking the speaker for his (hopefully) kind words.

Ending the evening

The host ends the meal with a vote of thanks for everyone who attended, and no Burn's Supper would be complete without a rendition of Auld Lang Syne .

 

Yeah. It's nice to see the colonies carrying out their primitive rites :D

 

Do they still Wassail, down in Hampshire cajary? :D

 

We had our veggie haggis, neeps and tatties last night! YUM!!!

(comfy = come fae = come from ie. where do you come from?)

 

Hi, Dai. Haven't got the faintest. I come from "The Smoke" and avoid the "carrot crunchers". Do you still sit, terrified in your beds, after 10 p.m. in case the "Banshee" gets you? :D

 

Not since we sold it to Richard Branson. :D

 

Dai. :D

 

In my humble and immigrant sassenach opinion, Burns was certainly one of and probably THE greatest, social commentators and observers the UK has produced.


The final verses of these two works say it all for me.

A Man�s a Man for a� That:
Then let us pray that come it may
(as come it will for a' that)
That Sense and Worth, o'er a' the earth
Shall bear the gree an' a' that
For a' that an' a' that
It's coming yet for a' that
That man to man, the world o'er
Shall brithers be for a' that

To a Louse:
O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us
An foolish notion:
What airs in dress an gait wad lea'es us,
An ev'n devotion!

 

Dave, shouldn`t that be " To a Gordon? " And, just a thought, caj, but, don`t you Londoners eat jellied eels, ugh, and worship Pearly Kings and Queens?

 

Dai. I worship anything I can eat and anything female :D Now, what were you saying about "Queens" :D

 

Cajary, I`m glad you said that and not me, though the temptation was there,thailor. :D :D