A Joke Or Two 2025

Paddy runs into the pub and shouts, “Murphy, some arsehole stole your car.”


Murphy says, "Did you see who did it?"


Paddy replies, "No, but I got the license number.”

 

I saw a frog and picked it up

It said if you kiss me I will turn in to a beautiful young, eternally grateful, princess.

When I put it in my pocket it asked…

“Don’t you want me to be your princess?”

I said …

“At my age I’d rather have a talking frog!”

 

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My neighbour sees me kneeling down, busy in my garden and asks what I'm doing?"

"I'm putting all my plants in alphabetical order"

"Really?! I don't know how you find the time"

"It's right next to the sage"

 

If you watch Jaws backwards, it is a heart-warming story about a shark
who gives arms and legs to people who need them.

 

I completed a 20 piece jigsaw today in 5 mins. I'm really chuffed with that because on the lid of the box it said 3 to 4 years.

 

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