A Joke Or Two 2025

In a large Glasgow private hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's toilets, but it had always been occupied.

A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labelled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist... He pushed WW.

Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

 

​

 

​

 

Wee Hughies class was sharing stories with morals.

Little Susie said,
“I gathered all the eggs from the henhouse, but I dropped the basket and they all broke.
Moral: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”
The teacher smiled. “Very good, Susie.”

Little Frankie said,
“I didn’t want to read a dusty old book my mom found in the basement. But she read it to me and it was amazing — it was Tom Sawyer.
Moral: Don’t judge a book by its cover.”
“Wonderful lesson, Frankie,” the teacher said.

Then Wee Hughie raised his hand.
“My Uncle Ted was a fighter pilot in the war. His plane got hit by ground fire while attacking enemy positions.
He pulled up, but the flames spread into the cockpit…”

“Oh dear—” the teacher muttered.

“I’m not finished,” Hughie said.
“He pulled the eject handle just in time, grabbed the fifth of whisky he kept next to the throttle, and drank the whole thing while floating down in his parachute.”

The teacher blinked. “Whisky…?”

Wee Hughie continued,
“He landed right in the middle of enemy soldiers. He pulled out his Colt pistol and took out six of them before he ran out of ammo — got his own ear shot off too!
Then he grabbed the knife from his boot and took out three more.
The last guy he finished off by strangling him with a parachute cord.”
The teacher stared at him, speechless.

“Hughie … what on earth is the moral of that story?”

Wee Hughie shrugged and said:
“Don’t mess with Uncle Ted when he’s been drinking.”