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Cancer of the asophagus

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Purple Streaks, Jun 2, 2021.

  1. Upsydaisy

    Upsydaisy Total Gardener

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    Hello @Purple Streaks , what can I say except that I echo what FC had said in his above post.

    I find it so unbelievable that the support we were given for my Dad and what is being offered to you and your Mum is at completely opposite ends of the scale!! As I said everything was done for my Dad which left us free to spend precious time with him and all the nurses/ carers were fully trained to administer medications. He had a double set of nurses 4 times a day too and the District Nurse popped in at least once a day to check on him ( and us ) as well. There was absolutely no charge made to us for any of this care package whatsoever.

    I am just so utterly shocked by this whole experience that both your Mum and you are having to endure. My heart goes out to the two of you and I'm so sorry that I can't steer you in the right direction for a more post outcome.
    Keeping you both in my thoughts .:grphg: xx
     
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    • Purple Streaks

      Purple Streaks Gardener

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      yesterday and today day she has has slept all day .was having problem waking her ,though she was awake enough to get fluids down her using a straw then she went back to sleep.nurse came out to check her today says she seems OK., and sleeping is good for her. I was with her till
      11 -30 last night. But then my own health problems reoccurred once too often and I started to feel nauseous because of my own back pain.
      I went home to my own orthpedic bed . But after the most horrible nightmare I needed to go back to check her,she had her legs hanging over the bed and was frozen . I got her warm with a hot water bottle extra covers. And made her the ever Faithfull cuppa tea. I didn't dare come home so stayed, she has slept all day again so I guess it will be same tonight.i feel I don't know how to look after her the right way.

      But I wonder if anyone else is in Doncaster and could advise me please? Of carer's etc or even if there are other care agenceys who are OK..?
       
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      • pete

        pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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        Have you tried a local Hospice, finally got my mother in there, they are wonderful places.
         
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        • CanadianLori

          CanadianLori Total Gardener

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          @Purple Streaks I think @pete is right. Throw yourself on their mercy. Tell them you have ruined your back and are helpless to aid her. Stress that you cannot care for her properly and it is not a short term thing like a pulled muscle. Be as dramatic as possible without whinging.

          I'll cross my fingers for you.
           
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          • Upsydaisy

            Upsydaisy Total Gardener

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            Keeping my fingers crossed that someone on here can offer you a positive response @Purple Streaks .:grphg:xx
             
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            • pete

              pete Growing a bit of this and a bit of that....

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              I think you have to apply directly to the hospice and they send someone round to do an assessment.
              If they have a place you have to grab it when its offered, they are very full.

              But they give 24hr care and dont ask you to do more than you can, in some you can stay overnight as well, all in separate rooms with medical backup and resident doctor.
               
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              • Purple Streaks

                Purple Streaks Gardener

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                Thank you everyone ,It is so reassuring to come here where I can pour out my heart and not feel that I shouldn't be.its very comforting..

                Mum had asked me if she could end her days at home where she grew up and spent her childhood.and if I could look after her. I said I would but I'd need a lot of help from carer's.
                Help is what I thought I'd get.
                I am very frightened to be dealing with this alone without
                 
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                • Upsydaisy

                  Upsydaisy Total Gardener

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                  I so wish I lived up your way @Purple Streaks ...I would definitely drop by and give you a hand. It makes me so sad to see how you've been left to cope alone.
                  Never stop posting on here, we're all here to support you both. :grphg:xx
                   
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                  • Nikolaos

                    Nikolaos Total Gardener

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                    That may not be a realistic option and you certainly shouldn't beat yourself up if it's not possible. My Nan suffered from dementia and we tried to extend the time she spent in her home as much as we possibly could, but the fact of the matter was that she was posing a huge risk to herself after two falls and increasingly losing touch with reality, sometimes people are simply too ill to remain at home. That was with three of her four children, a load of grandchildren and a very capable team of carers looking after her, and we still had a job keeping her well-cared-for and safe! :dunno:

                    Nick
                     
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                    • Upsydaisy

                      Upsydaisy Total Gardener

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                      Agree Nick. My brother lives alone and has Alzheimer's and despite having 3 sisters to keep tabs on him it has come to the stage where we are in the throws of moving him to a new complex with 24/7 care.
                      It comes down to being realistic on what you can do 'well' and what you can't. We have all decided we want to spent time with our brother, socially and doing 'fun ' things rather that getting tired and stressed out with managing the 'care' side. We will leave that in the more capable hands of those who really know what they are doing.:dbgrtmb:

                      If you're finding it all too much that's fine and normal @Purple Streaks ...you're human and not a robot.
                      When all is said and done I'm sure you Mum would want you sitting by her side, chatting with her and holding her hand. Not rushing around ,looking shattered and making yourself ill.
                      Spend the time you two have left wisely and make happy memories togther. xx
                       
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                      • Purple Streaks

                        Purple Streaks Gardener

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                        I am so frightened of something happening and I'm there on my own. The carers have told me if somethng happens through the night to phone the positive care nurse.and Through the day i phone her doctors surgery.I also have been given info on recognising the last signs . .I alwaYs understood a nurse would be with me.
                         
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                        • Upsydaisy

                          Upsydaisy Total Gardener

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                          Aww bless you @Purple Streaks , I was with both my Mum and Dad when they passed away and thankfully they both slipped away very peacefully, I wish the same for your dear Mum with all my heart. They were both in a deep and peaceful sleep and knew nothing when their time came. If ,as I hope, you find you are in the same situation just hold her hand and keep talking to her, it's claimed that hearing is the final sense to be lost.
                          It may seem daunting now but I can honestly say that I was glad to be with my parents and support them in their last journey. Keep strong, you can do it for both of you, all I wish is for some support for YOU!! xx
                           
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                          • Purple Streaks

                            Purple Streaks Gardener

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                            Lost mum early hours of this morning...
                            I feel let down
                             
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                            • Victoria

                              Victoria Lover of Exotic Flora

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                              My heartfelt condolences @Purple Streaks. I feel it is the best for you, :imphrt: RIP Mum. xx

                              z-bencaos1.gif
                               
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                              • Nikolaos

                                Nikolaos Total Gardener

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