Friendly Customer Services

Some years ago, after I'd retired and had a bit of time available, I decided to write a letter of complaint.

We had bought Sainsbury's Supersoft toilet rolls and found that they were quite rough. I sent them the following poem.

A BIT OF A ââ?¬Å?BUMMERââ?¬Â
(or an inconvenience)

It is with regret I write to you
About a problem in my loo.
A product I bought in your store,
Is starting to make my bum sore.
In days gone by I�ve used your brand
Of toilet rolls and found them grand.
But though theyââ?¬â?¢re ââ?¬Å?super softââ?¬Â by name
They certainly don�t feel the same
As those we�ve used for years and years -
They�ve brought us to the verge of tears!
So, Sainsbury�s, please bring back the days
When we can utter words of praise
For those fine rolls we use with ease,
That do their job and also please.


To my surprise they sent the following reply.


I thank you for your charming rhyme,
It jumped out from my pile;
And when I showed it round the room
It more than raised a smile.

Our joy though did not last for long
As soon we had to learn
That toilet rolls from Sainsbury's
Have caused you great concern.

We tried to change these toilet rolls
To make them soft and new;
To make it fun for everyone
To sit upon the loo.

The Buyers I will notify
They make your bottom sore,
And we will do our best to make
Them softer evermore.

The voucher I am sending you
Comes with our great regret
That anything from Sainsbury's
Has caused you so to fret.

Yours sincerely


Alex ******
Manager - Customer Services
Enclosed: �£5 voucher


It was such a good response that I had to thank them.


Your poem I received with joy, knowing that you care
That my poor nether regions were in such disrepair.
I guess the voucher I received is not for me to try
To use here as a substitute - that brings a tear to my eye!
So I�ll assume, and thank you, it�s sent in sympathy
For all the trauma suffered somewhere above the knee.
I�ll use it for the purpose I think that you intend.
To buy your toilet rolls once more, to salve my tender end.

You�ve restored my faith in fellow man
Which recently went down the pan
Your voucher now seems heaven sent
To really placate my fundament.

To write in rhyme you have a gift
And your response gave me a lift.
I thank you, sir, so very much
For the way that you have kept in touch
With my plight - I won�t forget you
Customer Services and Alex ******



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shiney