GC Olympics

So, the Olympic torch has arrived in the UK.

While most of us seem to be planning to ignore the big event, I think we could hold our own Olympics by inventing garden related sporting contests in which we can all participate.

I'll set the ball rolling with a few suggestions, feel free to add to the list.

SNAIL SHOT PUTT
From a standing position, the objective is to propel the chosen mollusc as far as possible into your neighbour's garden. Points are awarded based on the distance the snail travels while airborne. Use of artificial methods of increasing the distance travelled, such as lumps of Bluetac, helium filled balloons etc. will result in disqualification.

SNAIL JAVELIN
Similar to snail shot putt, but you're allowed to take a run-up first.

WASP BOXING
As the wasp buzzes around your head, you flail at it for up to three minutes, scoring points for every direct hit achieved, with extra points being awarded for a knockout. Points are deducted for getting stung or running away.

50 METRE BACKSTROKE
Nothing to do with swimming. The competitors must first perform a task involving heavy digging, hand weeding or similar.
You are then required to walk the length of the garden, with hands placed on the lower back, using your own artistic interpretation to produce a series of grunts, unusual gaits and agonised expressions to score points, which will be awarded by a panel of judges.

CHICKEN DRESSAGE
The object is to manoeuvre the escaped fowl back into its run, showing a high degree of control over said fowl while avoiding obstacles such as vegetables, ponds, enthusiastic dogs etc. The round is completed when the bird is successfully ushered through a small gate leading back into its run, or when darkness falls, which ever occurs first. The use of 'tempters' such as grain, bread or leftovers is not allowed.

SYNCRONISED RAKE TREADING
Two competitors or more are required to carry out the traditional act of standing on the upturned rake, attempting to synchronise as closely as possible the motion of the handle towards the face, the 'strike' and the resulting fall or stagger backwards. Extra points will be given for 'dramatic interpretation' although swearing will result in instant disqualification.

 

Now Trunkys Olympics i would definately be interested in

 

What about:-
1. Running a temperature
2. Throwing the Wobbler
3. Rythmic Tantric Exercise
4. Shooting the Breeze
5. Wasting an Opportunity

Sounds like the Modern Pentathlon

 

Tangled Hose Obstacle Course
Participants must carry a large, heavy, vision blocking, potted plant while trying to navigate the length of the garden that is covered in a tangled length of hose. Fastest time wins. Tripping and falling, dropping or spilling pot contents disqualifies participant. Loud swearing results in penalty points however muttered swearing is allowed.

 

Mangold Wurzel Tossing? or possibly with beetroots, swedes, etc.

 

Possibly uphill lawnmower pushing. Only non powered ones allowed.
p.s Do we get to parade about with torches at any time, or perhaps citronella candles?

 

In order to make these games as 'inclusive' as possible, I'm sure we could allow a bit of up-hill gardening. :WINK1:
Actually, you've just given me an idea for another contest: Torchlight Snail Stomping.

 

Love it