Lost the plot?

Chickens! My beloved other half Carol is hell bent on letting her chickens graze on my veg patch, we've not got a snail or slug problem BUT we haven't too much veg to show either!

How do I get six years worth of soil conditioning done in six months up at the allotment?

I'm sure she does it to infuriate me, it's working!

 

Can you not pen them into one side while you dig the other?

Steve...

 

Buy Carol a pet pig?

 

One time when on my hols on the island of Minorca during one of their worst droughts in years, we were on the tourists coach tour and the local guide pointed at the cattle grazing in a veg field. He explained that as nothing much had bothered to grow, the farmers had figured it made more sense to let the cows graze on the poor veg crop. The logic being that to buy in supplementary feed for the cows would cost more than they'd make by selling their dismal veg crops, so they may aswell let the livestock in, and at least that way they'll be pooing on in the veg field adding nutrients for another try the following year.

 

The chicken pooh will make fab fertilizer for your plot - especially now the growing season is slowing down; might be worth permitting the chooks to have their wicked way with your veg patch at this time?

Come Spring, when you want to plant up your plot, get some pea/bean netting and some bamboo canes (this is the cheapest option) and create a dividing line/pen around your veg plot to keep the chooks *out*. Each time the chook bedding is renewed, put the old stuff into a plastic darlek type compost bin and by the following Spring you will have the very best compost for topping up your veg patch

A few days ago, my ducks and chooks discovered my raised veg beds and decided it was a purpose made smorgasbord just for them. For now, I'm not too bothered. Different story come Spring though

 

DUCKS! argghhhh. that's next on her wish list and guess who's tasked with building the duck house and pen? yup, me!

I wouldn't mind so much but roast chicken or duck is strictly OFF the menu!

 

Are you vegetarian, Vince?

Ducks, I find, are actually less work than chickens (although others may disagree ) Chooks scratch and stab with their lethal beaks; ducks, 'dabble' (far more refined!) So, where my chooks will dig ruddy big holes to bathe in, ducks leave a dabble hole no larger than their bill. Duck pooh is just as good too, except instead of a gentle, delicate "push" of pooh (like chooks), ducks have the potential to squirt both horizontally and vertically, with no regard for anything in the way

With the right breed of duck, they are less inclined to go broody and will still produce eggs throughout the winter. And, they do not announce, at full volume: "BWARK!! (I laid and egg!) Bwark, bok-bok-bok!! (I did; I *did*, I laid an EGG!!! BWARK-BWARK!!!"

 

Thats about the only sound I hear at our allotments Mum...and I love it!

I dont keep chickens myself but that chicken sound is far better anyday than a busy road.

Steve...

 

Oh, I agree, the chicken song is by far preferrable to a busy road (and fumes!) ... ducks simply don't make a song and dance when they lay their eggs whereas chooks think every egg they lay is a golden egg and the whole world must celebrate

We have had a few occasions when one of our girls has laid an egg, started on her chicken song of celebration .... and then the whole flock have joined in; all 13 of them!! Pity Mr Mum had worked night shift and this was at 1030hrs

 

You lot ain't doing much to alleviate my frustration!

I know chicken/duck muck is good for the garden - so are healthy veggie plants!

No, I'm not a vegetarian Mum, I'm tasked with the job of "dispatching" the ducks once Carol has brought them on, I haven't killed an animal since I worked on a farm 40 odd years ago (oops lie, I do shoot wood pigeons feasting on my brassicas!) don't know if I can do it for domestic fowl though ?

Steve, need to pen Carol in not the chickens, chickens have their own pen, it's Carol that gives them free reign!

 

I worked on a turkey farm one Christmas, way back in the day, just one season.

On the home front, I started with a solitary chicken a few years ago (ex-batt) but have only really had what could be called a "flock" for the past 2 years; ducks were this Springs project. I realised that to be a "responsible" owner I really needed to be able to dispatch any which were beyond saving - particularly chooks because they hide illness so well. Last Bank Holiday Saturday, one of my son's and I attended a "course" for a day to learn how to dispatch and dress duck and rabbit; I really needed to know that I would be *able* to do it and wanted to learn under a practised eye. Equally, if I discovered that I really couldn't do it, I'd taken my son along so that he would be my back up plan. We were taught a couple of techniques, which I appreciated because I certainly favour one over the other. It was a good day all round and I learned so, so much.

A couple of weeks ago, I needed to dispatch one of my drakes - this was going to be the *real* test though, because he had a personality and was one our garden "pet" ducks. While I'm not exactly "proud" that I did it, I was relieved to find that I was able to do it (if you see what I mean? ). Swift, saved him any delayed suffering and took less than a blink of the eye.

Maybe it is something you and Carol should think about attending? It would certainly make sense if Carol is keen to keep chooks and ducks - even if you don't want to eat them, it's good to know how to humanely dispatch if and when the need arises. PM me if you think it is something you would be interested in and I can recommend the course I went on. Otherwise, I'll shut up on the subject and change to sympathy of your veg plot plight

 

LOL..I wish you luck with that one!

Steve...

 

Plans drawn up for "super size" shed up the allotment site, man's bit, where I can tinker to my hearts content and "hammock" area where I can have forty winks or more!

And not a chicken, duck or any other distraction in sight........ suppose I'll have to do some work on the plot though? ah well, if that's the price to pay?