Things you always say wrong

Turtleneck dove for some reason always comes from my mouth as Bottleneck Turtle

Also, I'm still not sure if it's actually Aubretia or Aubrieta so I say both just to hedge my bets (thankfully I don't like A very much so the times I talk about it are limited)

 

Growing up in a mining village in Yorkshire, I and my friends ate breakfast before school then, at about midday, we were called into the school canteen or the house for our dinners. At six-ish we had our teas, usually when our dads got in from work so quite a big meal. If we were still awake and hungry, supper was a plate of Weetabix at about nine o’clock, sometimes eaten in bed with the dog waiting for the plate.

Then I went off to university and mixed with people who had been to public school and whose fathers were lawyers and so on. Breakfast was OK. But dinner moved from midday to one o’clock and became lunch. Tea moved back a few hours and was tea and biscuits in the late afternoon. Dinner slid forward to seven or eight or even nine in the evening. And supper was something one ate on those evenings when one was going to the theatre or the opera.

Then I came back to live in the English midlands. I now have to adjust my vocabulary according to who I am talking to. I tell the nurses at the hospital that I’ll be in to see them for my appointment at dinner time (mid day). But I tell the dentist and doctor that a lunchtime appointment would be fine.

 

I aways say “ duck off a backs water” …….….

 

Not as obvious when spoken, but writing 'of' instead of 'have' e.g. 'should of' drives me nuts. A friend of mine couldn't say Monopoly, always pronounced is as Molopony. It was highly amusing seeing him trying to get it right, and failing every time.

 

‘Should of’ raises my hackles too.
All praise to my spellchecker, I had to type that twice as it autocorrected it to ‘should have’!

 

You will all hate me if we were speaking, i always get things mixed up because of my ears hearing things diffently to how they are spelt and because i can't spell properly when i read things i say it differently, looks like i have a big problem

 

"Anemone" is a bit of a tongue-twister for me - it comes out as "Anenome" as often as not.

 

Just as long as you don't talk at the speed of light @Jiffy
"Gabbling" seems to be popular now - particularly frustrating when listening to some news programmes. No way of keeping up with them and often find myself no wiser at the end of the bulletin.
There was quite an interesting article on the radio the other day about the difficulties experienced by those who stammer - obvious "impatience" on behalf of the listener only made conversations more difficult for them.
Definitely some words are difficult to get your tongue around - I know someone who always has difficulty with the word Nuclear..........howver hard they repeat it, it comes out like Nuculer.

 

OH watches quite a few podcasts and programmes about electronics, some from the USA. Drives me mad hearing them talk about ‘aluminum’ and as for soldering, pronounced without the l, sounds rather disgusting!

 

By the time i think of the right words to say and may be i will use the wrong words then a few good minutes have passed so yes i don't speak at the speed of light, wish i could as then i could see myself as a brain box's
Some people names are hard for me, 1 of the hard one's is "Nolan" i always say "Noland" and if some one has a over sea's name then i don't even give it a go

 

I suspect that is a very common one as Anenome trips off the tongue more easily. My mother once asked a lady working in a garden centre if she had cystitis when she meant Cytisus.

 

Struggling with "foreign" names/words is not unusual - takes quite a bit of practice and even then, it's easy to mess things up. Listen to The World Service on the radio and try repeating some of the contributors names - not simple.
I was quite stunned when one of my neighbours in France said " I do love how your English accent comes across when you are speaking French ". I did speak French but obviously couldn't hide the fact I hadn't quite got the accent right

 

Westminister, instead of Minster.

 

Camerel
Used to annoy my ma, no end!
And shop lifters, instead of shop fitters.

 

My (actually mild) Welsh accent was the cause of much amusement to my friends when I lived in Oxford and London - the one that created the most laughter was saucepan - said as ‘soss-pan’. Other apparently hilarious sayings included - ‘now in a minute’ and ‘over b(y)there’. They would have been blown away by other ‘Welshy’ sayings that I don’t say, such as ‘where to are you?’ and the classic ‘who’s coat is that jacket?’.