In our settlement i've not spooken to many people, only 14 houses, a lot of time they are just in and out people, even just yesturday i seen some one walking and though, for him to be down this way there mush be some rumbling down the other end!!! There has been a few new people move in and only said "morning" once to them but never got a reply so i now don't say "morning" now
Oh, please carry on saying good morning, @Jiffy. It might just be a couple of unfriendly ones, and the others will miss out! It is very easy in our village to miss out on talking to people. A lot of journeys have to be taken by car, with no easy walking routes and little public transport. It’s a bonus if you have a dog, an incentive to get out and about, and regular encounters with other dog owners.
Sometimes it's just office culture though. I work in huge multi-national organisation - lots of sites in the UK alone. My office is extremely friendly, and always has been - I've been present pretty much from the start. I've always felt safe and comfortable there. But we hear horror stories from one of the other (not London) offices, of bullying, abuse etc.
I think the problem is our car-centred lifestyle. I walk everywhere so I regularly see and say hello to the people who walk too, often with dogs. But I got new next-door neighbours a couple of weeks ago and have only had a quick glimpse of a bloke putting something in the wheelie bin. At least they seem to be quiet so far!
On our estate of about 200 houses people generally say hello with friendliness in their voice. Except the young ones. I stop to chat to people in their front gardens (open plan and friendly!) and have a good natter sometimes. On the "main" road I often exchange greetings even on the other side of the busy road to people I don't know, but recognise them. But then you get the boat people from the local hotel, who go along in groups and don't look - maybe they're told not to engage with the locals. Overall it's a friendly area.
We moved into our current house nearly 38 years ago. We quickly got to meet and speak to almost all of our immediate neighbours. Fast forward 30 years and it was still all the same people in the 'set' of 6 1930's built semi's we live in. Since then all but one of the houses have new people in as Father Time had his say. The people in the house next to us are nice enough but rarely say anything more than a passing 'Hi'. A young couple moved in next to them and posted cards in to introduce themselves, and are lovely. They've been in 2 years and are still doing the house up as it had been pretty unloved by the previous occupant. The two houses beyond them have also been renovated, or are being renovated. People moved into the furthest house about 6 months ago and I have only seen anybody once, although I know people are living there. The people in the semi attached to us have been in there about 45 years, but we have never been in their house. Again, they are very friendly and chatty outside, but like to keep themselves to themselves otherwise. I have no problem with that. New people moved into a detached house next to my immediate neighbour and their first action was to take down a 3' timber fence and erect a 6' in its place. They barely speak to anybody. Society has definitely become more insular, and I accept we live in a much more pressurised world than we had nearly 40 years ago. Things change, but not always for the better.
I'm on a smile/nod/hello terms with most people in our road but there are a few that are just miserable. A few of our neighbours are the really friendly type, who would chat to anyone for hours if they let them but even they have been blanked. It takes more energy to go out of your way to avoid someone than to just smile but it seems the way some people are going. I see the same thing in the mountains, people always used to say hello but now they don't. We met a lady in really bad weather who wasn't confident where she was going, so we walked together. It wasn't unsafe but she wasn't confident and was upset because an idiot just ignored her when she asked for help. She was a lovely lady with a brilliant Welsh accent, that showed how much we butchered the pronunciations.
I wonder how much of it has to do with the preoccupation with phones these days. Quite a lot I suspect, and not just the younger generation (what I would class as late teens to mid twenties), but older people as well. I was in the dentist's waiting room a couple of weeks ago, and chatting to the receptionist and one of the dental assistants. A lady came in, gave her name and then promptly sat down and began scrolling through her phone. The funny thing was, she killed the conversation stone dead, even though she was so engrossed in whatever she was looking at that I doubt she'd have heard a word of it in any case. It was as though all the fun of human interaction had been sucked out of the room. It seems that even though someone might not be actually looking at a phone, they are so used to it that they have lost the art of dealing with a person in real life.
Our one mile of road, outside the village, has about 20 houses. We know the majority of them but rarely see many and none are unfriendly. Some of us help each other out and even have keys for each other's houses in case of emergency. When we're on holiday one, seven houses away, comes in every day to feed the birds. During covid a young couple (most of us are old) moved in down the road and immediately dropped a note through all our doors offering to help with anything or do our shopping for us.
It's a fascinating subject, isn't it @shiney ? In the part of the estate where I live, the vast majority have been here since 1989, and although we know the majority of names and say hello and sometimes comment on the weather, I wouldn't say we know them very well. The first we knew about a death of a very near neighbour's wife was when the funeral cortege passed by our house. We are very friendly with our next door neighbours who moved in shortly after us, and used to do things such as drawing the curtains and picking up the post when either household went on holiday. Those were the days ! I suppose these days there's very little post and there's an app to switch lights on and off, close the blinds/curtains etc and even see who is at the door. No need for a human to go anywhere near the place at any time.
There is alot of people that just use you for what they can get!!!!!and then drop you like a stone!!!!! you have to "fit right in" The law here only works one way and that is their way
I know most of my neighbours and we are all on a chat outside, offer to help each other but we don't visit inside. I bake every Sunday and share some with them and they know I try to be fair as I take "turns" as to who get's something this Sunday. I do have 1 neighbour who doesn't chat with anybody and the ones right next me that are, in my opinion, hillibillies. So I just ignore them. I always say hello to people coming along the sidewalk just out for a stroll or walking their dog. And they usually answer back. There is one group who are not friendly at all. I don't know if it is how they were brought up in their home land but I just stay silent now. It is embarrassing for me when I say hello and am snubbed by no reply. I am allergic to animal hair/fur and sometimes I get to pet a dog without suffering too much because it is only for a brief moment and keeps my exposure low. I do love animals!
I always remember a friend telling me that she'd heard of someone who learnt British Sign Language for "Hello" (short and sweet, so easy to learn). One morning she stepped out in front of 3 dog walkers who'd ignored her pleasantries for months, and signed to them. One man said "What are you doing ?" (or words to that effect !), so which she replied that she was terribly sorry but she'd assumed that they were deaf so had learnt the greeting. Apparently he grunted something and walked off, and they didn't pass the house again. Whether this is true or apocryphal I have no idea, but I like to think it's true.
Not only do the Lords want patients accessing assisted dying to have a pregnancy test, they also want each death filmed, apparently to look for signs of coercion. Plus the person must not have left the country in the previous 12 months. Why? And relatives will be assessed for any financial difficulties and, if these are found, the assisted death will be denied. FGS! Is the plan to ensure no-one can ever meet the eligibility criteria?
