Who switched the TTH on?

clueless1 · Dec 13, 2013

A friend of mine has recently started a new job, where he met me. Well not 'me', but a parallel me. He asked me if I have a relative of the same name that is also a programmer, looks like me, talks like me, but is a bit younger.

Here's the transcript, see if you think I've explained it well.

My young friend:

Does anybody related to you (also called CL1) work at TheCompany? I've been talking to a dude who recently started on developing the platform, he looks the spit of you, but probably about 10 years younger, he also used to work at corus in Redcar. Am I just mad or his like your cousin or something?

Just curious, seems like a nice chap, had an interesting conversation with him in the kitchen
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My explanation:

Its me. Well sort of. On a forum that I am a moderator on we've built a time travelling helicopter but unfortunately our lack of understanding of quantum mechanics should have stopped us dabbling but we thought, what the hell, what can possibly go wrong. Now there are many tears in the spacetime continuum and parellel us'es have leaked in from alternate realities, and also some of our members are freaking us out by remembering things that haven't happened yet, not knowing anything about stuff they've just done, and meeting themselves in the local pub. In fact I myself came home from work to find I had a beautiful wife and two well behaved kids just the other day. I went back out to find the rift and came home again and all was normal, except wife acted like I'd only just come in.

Unfortunately there's also been a few slightly more serious incidents too. One person had an apple tree in spring that was covered in bloom but no apples appeared, and another printed out a simple email and when the printer ran out of paper, he was surprised to find the entire works of Shakespeare except that the letter 'e' was missing out of every word.

We've been trying to repair all the damage to the continuum but unfortunately every time we appear to be making some progress, one of our members gets drunk on home made Sunny D rum and takes the TTH out again and wreaks all sorts of havoc. In one incident one of our members actually found herself in the boot of a Ford Focus. She was ok, but nobody knew how she got in there, and even more strange, despite us coming from all over the country, from all walks of life and with widely varying commitments, one afternoon in May we all seemed to end up in someone's garden in some remote village somewhere in Essex or Hertfordshire.

So yes, that chap you met is me, but not me but a parallel me. Speak to him tomorrow, ask him about WW2. He wont of heard of it. This is because in his, my?, let's say his reality, WW2 never happened. Instead the hippy movement started early, and my? our? grandad's never had to go to war, but instead spent the entire time from 1939 to right into the late 1950s sitting in the sunshine eating space cakes. Consequently they didn't start families until much later, so the parallel me is younger than this me. I met him when I was 30 and he was 20, and trained him up in the dark art of programming. Of course being me he already knew a lot, and what he didn't already know he absorbed very easily because we have the same brain makeup so it was very easy for me to explain things to him, and he had no trouble understanding me. Keep an eye on him. If he appears to be working on code involving complex mathematical formulae when he's supposed to be simply retrieving contact data from a database, or if you see him dabbling with 4.73 dimensional matrix theory, it is because I've secretly set him on the task of finding out where we went wrong when building the TTH so that all the problems I've described just go away. But be warned, if he ever solves it, don't stand too close to him because all you will see is a strange shimmering mirage effect and he will simply vanish, back to his own reality.

Sorry if I haven't explained that very well quantum stuff is really difficult, but I hope that answers your question.
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clueless1 · Dec 13, 2013

My young student friend is still confused.

My young friend:

That was the best thing I've read this year haha

But please, I'm in suspense, tell me, is he a relative?
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My further explanation:

Its all relative. That's the thing about the TTH. Imagine two points in the spacetime continuum. As space and time are one (ie spacetime), if you focus high energy lasers at a subatomic partle at knock it 90 degrees off course, it shifts the dimensions within the atom relative to those outside of it. This makes it possible to move through that most elusive fourth dimension of time, which sits at 90 degrees to each of the other 3 dimensions.

The trouble is, that relative to the size of the helicopter, an atom is miniscule, so the newly created conditions inside of it are innaccessible for anything practical. To overcome this problem, superpowerful electromagnets are used to expand the atom such that it is several feet wide. Wide enough to envelope the whole TTH, which then makes the TTH exist outside of 'normal' spacetime. We know that within an atom, normal spacetime does not exist and that any two points in normal spacetime can exist simultaneously in a single point. That's not entirely accurate, but its the best way to describe it in laymans terms. The truth is more like that no space or time at all exists in there so you effectively leave the continuum - but for an infinitely small amount of time (ie not time at all because time doesn't exist in these conditions) and by manipulating the orbit and rotation of the field of subatomic particles, you can influence where in the continuum your are when you allow the field to collapse, returning you to normal space. But it is all relative, because you have to map the rotation, orbit, trajectory and position of each particle relative to its starting point when you created the field.

You may by now have spotted a fundamental flaw in our logic. We used a laser to adjust the rotation, trajectory and orbit of each particle. The problem we forgot about was cosmic background radiation. We think that sometimes a neutrino hits the particles in the field and adjusts its properties outside of our control. Sometimes we think heavier particles actually knock electrons away altogether, turning the atom into ion, and of course ions interact very strongly with magnetic fields, so they end up in a spin we think, spawning many troublesome shadows and echos into many dimensions relative to where we need to be.

Now remember I mentioned alternate realities. Again they are not really alternate. The are all the same reality but at angles relative to each other. When we accidentally create a tear, again that's just laymans terms, what we really mean is that we've knocked a dimension or subdimension slightly off from where it ought to be. Think of it like the strings on a guitar. Between one end and the other it should be a straight line. It is safe to bend that line by introducing an external force, but sometimes if you strike too hard or at the wrong angle, you accidentally knock the string next to it too, ending up with an entirely different harmonic. Sometimes we accidentally snap a string, but still, the two ends are still located relative to each other. I.e. you can measure the distance between the two ends. That damage is a tear. We can fix that be reducing the relative distance of where the end of the string is to where it should be to exactly zero, ie fixing the guitar.

So, you see? Its all relative.
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shiney · Dec 14, 2013

You need to be careful as another problem can be caused if the tear is too great or it happens too quickly.

Because of the 'flux' in the the continuum you can then get uncalculable differences that throw the angled alternate realities into parallel dimensions. Then you can end up not only meeting yourself at different ages but meeting situations that were only in stories and novels in your original universe.

You can read more about this in the text book, 'The Number Of The Beast' by Robert A. Heinlein. We had to study this in 'Non-General Relativity' classes in school in the 30's - but I don't think you study that topic in your realities. I think the 'flux' didn't bring that excellent text book into this reality until 50 years later.

I managed to tie it all together when I worked on string theory!

wiseowl · Dec 14, 2013

Shiney's string theorem in conjunction with Pythagoras's theorem I have used many times,especially in the Bermuda Triangle and have frequently met myself not only on the way back but also on the way there,and I have met myself before I left,Knot to be confused with Albert Einstein' s Theory of Relativity ,its just a Doppelganger a paranormal double of a living person,or having glimpsed oneself in one's own peripheral vision with no chance of the supposed phenomenon having been a reflection,a form of Bilocation.

I would like to thank Shiney for his String Theorem without it, this would Knot have been possible

AB²= Knot =AC² = BC²=Knot= AC² = BC²= Knot= AB² = 13² - 5² = 169 - 25 = 144 AC = 12cm

shiney · Dec 14, 2013

"By Jove! I think he's got it!"

Trunky · Dec 14, 2013

ARMANDII · Dec 14, 2013

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Who switched the TTH on?

clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

wiseowl Admin 24/7 Staff Member

shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

Trunky ...who nose about gardening

ARMANDII Low Flying Administrator Staff Member

Rootit Heat MatThermostat

Solved ID Pink Imposter - Matthiola, Night Scented Stock

Who took the TTH out this morning?

xCupressocyparis whyarenttheyillegalyetii

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Log in or Sign up

Who switched the TTH on?

clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

clueless1 member... yep, that's what I am:)

shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

wiseowl Admin 24/7 Staff Member

shiney President, Grumpy Old Men's Club Staff Member

Trunky ...who nose about gardening

ARMANDII Low Flying Administrator Staff Member

Rootit Heat MatThermostat

Solved ID Pink Imposter - Matthiola, Night Scented Stock

Who took the TTH out this morning?

xCupressocyparis whyarenttheyillegalyetii

Share This Page

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