A JOKE OR TWO.!!

(Marriage).


A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!.





The Husband yells, " When You Die I'm getting you a headstone that reads,

"Here lies my Wife-----------------Cold As Ever"!!!!!!!!!!!.





"YES"!! she replies,"When you die I'm Getting You A Headstone that reads.









"Here Lies My Husband::: Stiff At Last" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

 

Two fellas working on a building site, and the Gaffa comes up to them and says, " I want you to measure these two poles. "
So the two fellas set about measuring the poles, by laying them on the ground.
Moments later the Gaffa returns and says, " Your doing it all wrong, it's the height I want and not the length ! "

 

Three Guys applying for jobs.
The first Guy goes into the Manager's office, the Manager asks him, " Which hand am I holding up? "
The Guy replies " Your left hand. "
The Manager says " You've got the job. "
The second Guy goes into the office, and the Manager asks him, " Which hand am I holding up? "
The second Guy says " Your left hand. "
The Manager says " You've got the job. "
The second Guy says to the third Guy, " Just tell the Manager which hand He's holding up? "
So the third Guy goes into the office, and the Manager rubs His hands together.
The third Guy says, " Awww, you shuffled them ! "

 

So there's these two blokes working for the Parks and Garden dept.
And one day they're working away in the park, and there's this chap sat on't park bench watching them.
After a while he gets curious, and goes up to the first bloke and says, " Why are you digging these holes, and then your mates filling them in ? "
He replies, " Well, the bloke who plants the trees is away on holiday ! "

 

there are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.

 

Just a little ditty I picked up.

Remind you of any one?

 

This really made me chuckle....