A joke or two.... 2021

Just been to the gym and tried out this new machine they have got in.
I only used it for 20 minutes as I started to feel sick. It's good though, it does everything, Snickers, Mars Bars, Kit Kats, Crisps, the lot.

 

New Covid restrictions in place!
Thanet: NEW LOCKDOWN RULES FROM 3rd DECEMBER 2021
Ramsgate: It’s still ok to fight with your neighbour as long as you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to.
Margate: Burgling homes in your local area is still permitted as long as you sanitise. Track and trace technology must be used.
Clifftonville: You can only visit your dealer when dropping your kids off at school. Dealers must wear visors and sanitise all bags.
Broadstairs: You can still have sex with your sister but you must be home by 10 pm.
St Peters : Vigilante groups of 6 only permitted outdoors between the hours of 10 pm and 6am, ppe must be worn during physical contact & raves.
Garlinge : Sitting in the park is encouraged, but please note, although a bottle of white lightening has higher alcohol content than hand sanitiser, it is not a suitable substitute.
Birchington : Prostitute services will still be permitted to stay open as an essential service. Due to concerns of an economic collapse in the area.
Westgate : Is now classed as a ‘NO GO ZONE’. If you must travel through this area please follow all diversions, stay in your car at all times. Masks are not required as nothing is open.
Rest of Thanet : Everyone must stay at home and self isolate until manufacturers can supply and distribute gloves with 6 fingers.

 

So I bought a Margate themed advent Calendar. Turns out the chocolates have been stolen and all the windows have been boarded up.

 

A man was jailed for stealing a Advent calendar, he got 25 days.