A Joke Or Two 2025

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep

 

A Glasgow dentist noticed that his next patient, a sweet old lady, seemed a bit nervous.

So, as he was putting on his gloves, he tried to lighten the mood.

“Do you know how they make these gloves?” he asked with a grin.

“No, I don’t,” she replied.

“Well,” he said, “there’s a big factory up in Canada with a huge tank of liquid latex.

Workers of all hand sizes dip their hands in, let them dry, then peel the gloves off and pack them in boxes.”

She didn’t laugh, just stared at him quietly.

“Oh well,” he thought, “at least I tried.”

A few minutes later, right in the middle of the procedure, she suddenly burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” the dentist asked.

She giggled and said, “I was just picturing how they make condoms!”