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A Joke or Two 2026

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by JWK, Jan 1, 2026.

  1. Logan

    Logan Total Gardener

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    • Ladybird4

      Ladybird4 I'm a gardener. What's your super-power?

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      • Ladybird4

        Ladybird4 I'm a gardener. What's your super-power?

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        • Ladybird4

          Ladybird4 I'm a gardener. What's your super-power?

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          • Ladybird4

            Ladybird4 I'm a gardener. What's your super-power?

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            • Ergates

              Ergates Enthusiastic amateur

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              • Ergates

                Ergates Enthusiastic amateur

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                • Ergates

                  Ergates Enthusiastic amateur

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                  • Ergates

                    Ergates Enthusiastic amateur

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                    • Ergates

                      Ergates Enthusiastic amateur

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                      • Ladybird4

                        Ladybird4 I'm a gardener. What's your super-power?

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                        • Ladybird4

                          Ladybird4 I'm a gardener. What's your super-power?

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                          • ChrisIB

                            ChrisIB Gardener

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                            • LunarSea

                              LunarSea Head Gardener (sometimes)

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                                Last edited: Jan 27, 2026
                              • Tidemark

                                Tidemark Total Gardener

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                                A friend in Scotland sent me this the other day. I just remembered about it. Sorry it’s a bit late.

                                An English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital. At the end of his visit, he's shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims:-

                                "Fair fa' yer honest sonsie face,
                                Great chieftain o'the puddin' race!
                                Aboon them a' ye tak your place, painch tripe or thairm:
                                Weel are ye worthy o' a grace as lang's my arm...."

                                The doctor, being somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, who immediately launches into:-

                                "Some hae meat, and canna eat,
                                And some wad eat that want it,
                                But we hae meat and we can eat,
                                And sae the Lord be thankit."

                                This continues with the next patient:-
                                "Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
                                O what a panic's in thy breastie!
                                Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle
                                I wad be laith to run and chase thee, wi murdering prattle!"

                                "Well," said the Englishman to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for last."

                                "No, no, no," the Scottish doctor corrected him, "this is the Burns Unit."
                                 
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