A Joke or Two 2026

Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms but kept the same tag-line:

Marks & Spencer- This is not just any condom it's a M & S condom.

Tesco Condoms - Every little helps.

Nike Condoms - Just do it.

Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.

Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.


KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.

Minstrels Condoms -Melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.

Pringles condoms - Once you pop, you can't stop.

Burger King Condoms - Home of the Whopper.

Goodyear Condoms - For a longer ride go wide.

Halfords condoms - We go the extra mile.

Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long.

Renault condoms - Size really does matter!

Ronseal condoms - Does exactly what it says on the tin.

Domestos condoms - Gets right under the rim ! ! ! (Please).

Heineken condoms - Reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach.

Carlsberg condoms - Probably the best condom in the world.

AA Condoms - For the 4th emergency service.

Pepperami condoms - It's a bit of a animal.

Polo condoms - The condom with the hole

Macdonalds - I'm lovin' it

 

Looking for his ball, the golfer found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head, and the golfer’s ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.
‘Arrgh! What happened?’ the Leprechaun asked.

‘I’m afraid I hit you with my golf ball,’ the golfer says. ‘Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?’

‘Thank God, you’re all right!’ the golfer answers in relief. ‘I don’t want anything, I’m just glad you’re OK, and I apologise’ and the golfer walks off.

‘What a nice guy,’ the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I’ll give him the three things I would want…

A great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.’

A year goes by and the golfer is back.

On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods, and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

‘Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,’ the little guy says. ‘I just want to ask ye, how’s yer golf game?’

‘My game is fantastic!’ the golfer answers. ‘I’m an internationally famous golfer now.’ He adds,
‘By the way, it’s good to see you’re all right.’

‘Oh, I’m fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how’s yer money situation?’

‘Why, it’s just wonderful!’ the golfer states. When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 note I didn’t even know were there!’

”I did that fer ye also.

And tell me, how’s yer sex life?’

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, ‘It’s OK.’

‘C’mon, c’mon now,’ urged the Leprechaun, ‘I’m wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?’

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around, then whispers, ‘Once, sometimes twice a week.’

‘What??’ responds the Leprechaun in shock. ‘That’s all? Only once or twice a week?’

‘Well,’ says the golfer, ‘I figure that’s not bad for a priest in a small town’!