A Joke or Two 2026

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by JWK, Jan 1, 2026.

  1. Ergates

    Ergates Enthusiastic amateur

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    Had exactly that scenario with the sofas, @Ladybird4! I’d just walked in accompanied by two friends I’d invited to dinner. The dinner was already cooking on the automatic timer, so I popped the prepared apple crumble in the oven, while we did our best to restore some order and create somewhere to sit down. Dinner was fine, but when I got the crumble out, it was half raw, I’d forgotten to put the oven onto manual, and it had switched itself off.
    The dogs have long since passed on ( but not forgotten) but we do look back occasionally, and laugh.
     
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    • Fat Controller

      Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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      • Ladybird4

        Ladybird4 I'm a gardener. What's your super-power?

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        • Ladybird4

          Ladybird4 I'm a gardener. What's your super-power?

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          • LunarSea

            LunarSea Head Gardener (sometimes)

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            • Fat Controller

              Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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              • Fat Controller

                Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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                • Fat Controller

                  Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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                  • Fat Controller

                    Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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                    Cleverly done - a good chuckle given recent events...
                     

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                    • Fat Controller

                      Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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                      Just put up my new blinds, what do you think?

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                      • Fat Controller

                        Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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                        Three virgin sisters were all getting married within a short time period.

                        Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to
                        send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on their first impressions of marital sex.

                        The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.
                        The card said nothing but: "Nescafe".

                        Puzzled at first Mum went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
                        It said: "Great from beginning to end".
                        Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

                        The second girl sent the card from the Maldives a week after the wedding and the card read: "Rothmans".

                        Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes to read from the pack: "Super strong King Size".
                        She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.. the third girl departed for her honeymoon in New Zealand.

                        Mum waited for a week,

                        Nothing.

                        Another week went by and still nothing.

                        A month passed; still nothing.

                        A card finally arrived from Auckland on which was written with shaky hand, "Air New Zealand ".
                        Mum took out her latest travel magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst and finally found the ad for Air NZ.

                        'Ten times a day, seven days a week, in all directions.'

                        MUM FAINTED!!!
                         
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                        • john558

                          john558 Total Gardener

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                          • Ladybird4

                            Ladybird4 I'm a gardener. What's your super-power?

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                            • Ladybird4

                              Ladybird4 I'm a gardener. What's your super-power?

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                              • Fat Controller

                                Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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