A Joke or Two 2026

Discussion in 'The Muppet Show' started by JWK, Jan 1, 2026.

  1. AuntyRach

    AuntyRach Total Gardener

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    @LunarSea - I nearly spat my tea out! Classic!
     
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    • Fat Controller

      Fat Controller 'Cuddly' Scottish Admin! Staff Member

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      Ifs and Whys

      * If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

      * If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?

      * "When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

      * Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

      * Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

      * If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

      * Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

      * Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

      * Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

      * If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

      * Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?

      * If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

      * When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

      * Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

      * Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

      * If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philips Screwdriver?

      * Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a "whack"?

      * If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

      * Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

      * Why do park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?

      * "I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do." is the longest sentence?

      * Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
       
      • Funny Funny x 3
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