A Joke or Two 2026

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A man of 85 goes to his doctor and asks for a full check-up. The doctor asks him why?

The old man says "Well I'm marrying a woman of 22 & want to make sure I'm physically fit for everything expected of me in married life."

After the check-up the doctor says to the man, "She's only 22? That's a big age difference & you probably won't have much in common. Can I suggest you take in a young lodger to keep her company for when you're out & about or a bit tired. It'll keep her happy & I reckon keep your relationship going."

The old man said he'd think about it.

Six months later the doctor bumps into the old man in the street and he tells him he's taken the doctor's advice and taken in a young lodger. The doctor then asks him how the marriage is working out?". "Tremendous!" said the old man "and even better my wife is 6 months pregnant."

"And how's the young lodger?" said the doctor.


The old man replied, "Oh, she's pregnant as well."

 

The Bishop was due to give an address at a local parish church and he’d forgotten his new false teeth. Not wanting to give a ‘gummy’ presentation he asked the Church Warden if he could help.

The Church Warden went out and returned moments later duly producing 3 sets of false choppers. One set was too tight, one too loose and the 3rd set fitted His Grace’s gums perfectly. “I can tell you’re a dentist” said the Bishop.

“Not really” replied the Church Warden, ”I’m an undertaker!”

 

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There’s some crackers on here! Thanks for posting them folks.

The January one is spot on @Ergates, and the garden centre one @Ladybird4.